Procrastination..... I'll get back to that later.

I know what you're thinking. "This guy sucks at blogging man! He hasn't done it in over 2 weeks and he's been in the country too - no excuse!" If that is what you're thinking, then I'm right (Ten points to Gryffindor) and you're right too (I do suck don't I? Ten points to Hufflepuff for you!). So much has happened these past two weeks, the pile of things to talk about and discuss has grown like a snowball running down a hill. I.e. quickly! As this pile grew, my arch nemesis grew stronger. His name is Procrastination.

(For those of you studying English Shiterature, this example of personification is on the house).

Procrastination is a bit of a lazy dude. He's always up for going out with the guys, and I mean ALWAYS. Every time I want to sit down and do something I have to do, such as university work, he knocks on my door and asks if I want to go for a drink. Sometimes we just sit listening to music together. Other times we discuss my future and how awesome I want to be, formulating a strategy together to achieve this goal. However, whenever I start to implement said strategy, Prokey (that's his nickname) always intrudes, and asks me to play him a song or show him my friends on Facebook.

Now people tell me that Prokey's a bad influence on me, that he's even ruining my grades at university! I'm trying to distance myself from him to be honest. I found out who he hangs with you see - those lathargic folk who just live off the State. He likes them. He says they're way more fun than I am.

I had done well without him on holiday. He had to stay home you see, couldn't afford the ferry ticket. But as soon as I got back, Prokey stopped me from updating this blog properly. I'm sorry guys, he likes the same music and films as I do for God's sake!

So that's why I haven't updated the blog in a while, and I am sorry. But not to worry! I will summarise the month of August in a few paragraphs. Let's do this!



THE HOLIDAY

Together with my parents and two younger brothers, I travelled to St Antonin Noble Val in the Aveyron area of France. It is a beautiful region; an amazing valley that puts my welsh one to shame! But before you think that we were taking a busman's holiday, I want to affirm that the weather was beautiful. It was at least 30 degrees in the afternoon on top of a hill, and there was seldom a cloud in the sky. We stayed in a renovated farmhouse with our own swimming pool, into which my brothers and I liked to perform artistic jumps.

We also went canoeing on the river - our holiday tradition. The views were beautiful and the water was wet, much to our surprise when we splashed each other with our paddles. We travelled to a nearby village for une marché gourmande. This was where the local community assembled a bunch of tables and erected stalls around it, where customers could buy local produce (and Coca Cola at the bar - globalisation ftw) and eat it in the middle. The roast duck we had was divine - French meat is so much better than British. I would not want to be a vegetarian in France (in fact, I wouldn't want to be a vegetarian at all! Veggies reading this, why do you put yourselves through such herbivorous torment?) We also tried this strange cheese product that tasted like cheese fondeau with potato in it. Savouring the taste of this cheesy stuff (If any Frenchies know what it's called please comment below, merci!) dipped in freshly-baked bread was one of the highlights of the trip for me, as we experienced first-hand French rural culture.

Spending time with the family was wonderful too. I don't get to see them much, being at university and what not, and when I am home, everyone has such busy lives that spending time together can be difficult to sort out.

On the way back, we checked out Rennes, the place where I will be undertaking my year abroad very soon. After finding the accommodation and business school itself, we left satisfied for Calais to catch the ferry back to England. Since then I have been at least twice as excited for Rennes as I had been beforehand.



THE READING


The part of the holiday that stood out for me, however, was the fact that I read three books FOR PLEASURE! I had not done this reading thing in such a long time, and I realise that growing up, reading was a huge part of who I was, so I was almost reconnecting with my true self through reading the different books.

I started with 'Into the Wild'  by Jon Kraukauer, which is the true story of Chris McCandless, a young man who travelled solely around North America for over two years in search of adventure, before succumbing to the harsh wintery conditions of Alaska. It was a fascinating read that explored why someone would go to such extremes to become one with nature, and was strangely both upsetting and inspiring. A very profound read.

Secondly, I thought I'd see what all the fuss was about with Stieg Larsson's Millennium Trilogy. So far I have only read the first installment - The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, but I was hooked early on. The characters of Lisbeth Salander and Mikael Blomkvist were original and compelling due to their imperfections and their deviation from the heroic norm. The story was fantastic as well - a very interesting murder case that takes some unexpected turns.

I finished with Yes Man by Danny Wallace. This is not like the film. The only thing that is the same is the concept of saying 'yes' to everything. Unlike Jim Carrey's financial advisor, Wallace's story is set in London, and is apparently a true story, told in a fantastic fashion. I was so addicted that I finished the book in a mere three days, reading the last 20% of it the night before we were due to leave early for our return journey. When I had finished, I was so inspired and excited for the future that I could not sleep. Just read this book - it is already my favourite behind the Harry Potter series, and that is the highest honour I could give to a book, to be honest!



THE INTERVAL IN WALES

I am nearing the end of the three-week period between the holiday in South France and the Year in North France. That time has mostly been spent catching up with friends (including Prochy), going to the gym, playing some pool, celebrating my brothers' fantastic exam results etc. I met a cool French guy too. He had been lodging at a friend's house, and was telling me about the nightlife in Rennes. He's from Quimper, also in Brittany, so we'll be pretty local! He was a really cool dude and was very patient with my poor attempts to speak to him in French, but I also helped him a little with his already impressive English. I hope the locals in Rennes are as nice as he was.

The highlight of the time home for me was, somewhat ironically, the day I spent in England, at Reading Festival a few days ago. Unfortunately, due to my poor financial management and student status, I was only able to go for a day and not the whole weekend. So my brother and I picked Sunday, when Muse were playing. After leaving, I had decided that the band name 'Muse' was an acronym for 'Most Uber Show EVER!' There is a lot of hype about them as a live band, but trust me, it was all true! There were amazing musician skills, pyro, lasers, graphics, a set that looked like their album artwork, lit up drums and bass inlays, topped with crazy vox courtesy of Matt Bellamy. Check them out yourself if you can! My ticket was great value because it meant I could also see We Are The Ocean (one of my favourite bands), Taking Back Sunday, the brilliantly talented Frank Turner, the comic genius pianist Tim Minchin, some Enter Shikari, Panic! At The Disco and Elbow (who were brilliant but the excitement for Muse meant I could not really enjoy their set as much).



So that's it guys! My month in a nutshell. I hope you stayed until the end and didn't ditch me for Prokey. I will add photos tomorrow because Prokey's come back and he wants me to go to sleep. Or maybe that's his cousin, Fatigue....

Rant over
Ollie

PS. I'd love some followers - would make me feel like a leader of sorts (well not really, but I'd feel more loved) so go on! Follow the blog! The year abroad will begin soon and the posts will be more frequent, I promise :) Night!

My big-ass challenge.

Hello my non-existant fans!

Yes I'm back. Did you miss me? Yeah I was gone for a couple of weeks, but it's okay. I'm back now. Chill. Put down that gun. Untie your wife and kids, and enjoy another snippet of ollish wisdom.

Oh hang on! You've just been stumped by a new word haven't you, Well the Oxford Concise English Dictionary defines the word ollish as:




ollish n. of or pertaining to the actions, diallect, and/or disposition of Oliver Lloyd, the young author of 'The Magic Stapler' from Newport, South Wales. (Origin: Early 21st century. From Ollie, Welsh for 'an awesome yet idiosyncratically weird dude'.)




I thought I'd be like George Orwell and use neologisms. The English language needs people like me. Well it doesn't really, but I want to contribute nevertheless!


So anyway, what am I writing about here? No, my dream where I had a carrot for a penis needs to be kept quiet and personal. Hmmm.... what is le sujet du jour? Oh yeah!

I did promise that this entry would explain why I'm writing the blog, and I'm sure there's some nutter in Austria who hasn't eaten for 3 weeks in anticipitation, so Mr Schwarz, you can preheat the oven, cause now I will divulge.

I've already hinted at my desire to exercise my creativity like I used to back in school. Writing stuff is fun - well, unless it's a university essay. That often sucks. I used to write poems, lyrics, speeches, stories, and I wasn't that bad. It makes my soul sing, and I think the most important thing to do in life is something you enjoy. I made a mistake choosing my degree, but I know I don't have to use what I've learned and actually go into business, so it's not the end of the world :)

So there you go, a free piece of advice. If you're young enough to be choosing your university course now, choose something you enjoy, because you'll be good at it, you'll actually want to study it, and there are many companies that hire people from any degree background (and there's always postgraduate conversion courses so you could spend just one year doing something more vocational if you'd like).

However, despite my course being at times disheartening and soul-crushing, there have been some classes that I've found rather enjoyable. And it has one redeeming factor. I'm studying for a BSc in International Management. The 'international' part basically means I spend my third year in another country.

And that's the main reason for me writing this blog.

Tadah! On September 3rd I'll be leaving for a year at ESC Rennes, the business school in Rennes, the capital of Brittany, France. So I thought I'd document my experiences, actions and learnings (if that isn't already a word, it's another neologism okay?) to share with whoever wants to read it, but also as a kind of diary for myself.

I've been to France many times for holiday - every summer since I was 6. I'm now 20. Do the maths. That's a lot of ferry trips! -  I've also been for the occasional Easter break and school trip, so I am well acquainted with the country, so why the hell am I going there for my year abroad when I could have gone to cool places like USA, Canada, Australia, Hong Kong or even Budapest (In Hungary. Where? Fuck knows)?

On paper it's insane, I know. I've hardly been anywhere in this big wide world and when I get an opportunity to go somewhere new, I choose the country where over the years I've nearly spent a year on vacation. Well, I can't afford to go outside Europe. I'm nothing like as rich as some of my classmates, and I can't save my money. I worked at Pizza Hut while at uni for the first two years, and all I have to show for it is a few CDs, DVDs and an Amazon Kindle. Don't get me wrong, I love my Kindle, and I'd recommend it to anyone, but I earned a few thousand during my time there, and I should have saved it for more big things rather than spend it all on nights out and God knows what.

So yeah, I can't afford anywhere else. But to be honest, who cares? I don't think I'd want to spend a whole year in the US, for example. I'd be sick of the constant commercial breaks on TV that interrupt their dumbass programmes (I'll never forgive them for cancelling Lie To Me), as well as the pervasive  Christianity and old-fashioned values of racism, homophobia and social immobility. I think I'll just pop there for a sloppy joe instead.

I'm actually looking forward to France, and I did choose it above the other european destinations. I know Budapest was a given 'no', but there was also Copenhagen, Gothenburg (in Sweden!), Rotterdam (in The Netherlands), and the beautiful area of Milan. I basically chose France because I want to get something out of an extra year at university. If you think of the opportunity cost of a year's graduate salary, then delaying graduation needs to be worth it. People in the UK graduate after 3 years so the extra year of study isn't really necessary.  I also need it to provide me with more than just awesome experiences - it needs to make me more employable. So I am going there not only to have loads of fun, but to become fluent in French. I've always wanted to be bilingual, like my dad. It's so cool switching languages comme ça!

That task is going to be very difficult for me to achieve, because I haven't studied French since 'A' level 2 years ago, and thus I'll have to take my business courses in English. While this makes it much easier to pass my courses, it will mean I'm speaking and reading English for most of my studies.

The second obstacle will be the French themselves. They love speaking English! A french girl I'm at uni with told me 'Ollee yoo need tu work on your French axonte!' Obviously I took the hypocrite's advice with a pinch of salt, but I realise she actually had a point. My apologies, girl in question (you still need to work on your English accent though!). The accent never bothered me, because I thought as long as I get the words right they'll understand what I'm saying. And they do. But that's not the problem. As soon as a French person detects that I am English-speaking, they tend to instantly speak to me in English, hurrying me along and making it a lot more difficult to practise my French. It's like the French are defending their own language from les étrangers, shielding it with our own language and deflecting any attempt of ours to intrude upon it.


The problem is, you know how some people are tone-deaf, and they just can't sing in tune no matter how they try? I'm accent-deaf. I can't do any other accent apart from my own Welsh accent (apart from accentuating the Welshness). Trust me, it's dermatologically proven!!! My skin is not that of an impressionist. When I try to do any other accent, I just sound Pakistani. When I try to do Pakistani, I just sound more Welsh. So how can I master the language if I can't mask my Britishness? Will I have to disguise myself? Look like this?

I know! I'll allow them to speak to me in English, but only if I can speak to them in French. That way both parties become bilingual, and I won't be a selfish dickhead who only permits the development of his own language. If that's what I have to do, so be it. Bring it on!

So there you have it! Blogging is fun, I can be creative again, and I can document my year abroad. If you can think of any suggestions for things I could do while writing this blog, please comment below. If I like it, I'll do it!

Rant over

Ollie