Oh My God.

Hi. I know this seems out of context and strange, but I needed to write something. 

For it has just hit me. This, the best year of my life, is all but over.

Some of my best friends have already finished their exams (while I'm still having to do a totally unnecessary group project for my Strategy class, let alone do my exams) and are leaving at the end of the weekend. As I was walking home from a quiet school listening to this beautiful but sad song (below), I felt so emotional. What if life never gets this good again? 

Anyway, now is not the time to waste writing an essay on this blog. I need to go out and make the most of our last weekend together as one big Erasmus group. I just want to say a quick thank you to and goodbye to those who are leaving us this weekend - you have been part of something amazing in my life, and I am truly grateful (and clearly a little too emotional).

We cannot cry though. What stopped me on my walk home? That old phrase 'don't cry because it's over - smile because it happened'.

So let's not waste any more time! Let's go out and party until the sun comes up, reminisce about the good times and enjoy each other's company one more time. 

Rant over

Ollie

Cultured and inspired.

I thought I'd separate French Culture from the others, as it was my favourite class, and deserves its own post (plus the other post with all 6 courses is way too long, even for me!)



French Culture - PROBABILITY OF SLEEP 0.1

Obviously I had to keep French Culture, despite dropping French Language. It is a breath of fresh air, taking me away from the grey business world that I seem to have signed up for and back to the much greener and brighter world of art, poetry, society and culture - and all in French! So I am still learning new French words by attending the classes and reading the literature. I have also picked up my copy of Harry Potter et le Prince de Sang-Mélé from Wales to read and improve my French with a familiar story, What is interesting is that the French have a special past-historic tense used when telling stories, unlike in English, which merely uses the perfect tense. That's standard of the French, making everything more complicated than necessary. Anyway, I digress....

In Saint Anne with Arsène, Thibault and Katie

Arsène is my favourite teacher at the school. He's crazy, merry, resembles Bilbo Baggins in the Lord of the Rings, and is totally out of place at a business school! He brings out my creative side and humour, and making jokes in French is always fun! I have also become a lot better at understanding his native French. He is extremely well-read and well-spoken. I am very glad that I didn't drop his class.

I was originally planning on completing the essay in French, to help improve my ability in the language. However, due to the busyness of the month of March, I did not really have time and chickened out, settling for French captions of my photos. You see, my vocabulary was very specialised, being a review of the French rugby team's Six Nations campaign. I thought my sheer cheek in rubbing in the Welsh Grand Slam would be appreciated by the Jolly Frenchman!

However, I have already completed this exam (last Monday), and I answered in French! I was so happy with myself - despite the grammar being most likely rubbish, I thought "hey, I have nothing to lose - let's try it!" I wrote 7 pages in a foreign language in 2 hours. Yes it's about quality over quantity, but hey if you can't have one go for the other!

I also met up with Arsène outside class, when my Belgian friend Thibault, who sadly could only be here for the first semester, came to visit for Easter. He, (Irish) Katie and I went for coffee with Arsène on Easter Monday morning, where we discussed culture, adventures, meeting people.... all really cheesy and motivating! It was at that point too, where I was inspired to start writing poetry again, something I haven't done since I was 17.

For the last class last Wednesday, after the exam, the German girls and I had an extra lesson to equal the classes the other students had received in January before our program had begun. There, we recited and discussed Paroles by Jacques Prévert, a classic collection, or receuil of French poetry. It was masterfully written. My personal favourite is a love poem - Paris at Night, which I beat three of my classmates to reciting:

Trois allumettes une à une allumées dans la nuit

La première pour voir ton visage tout entier

La seconde pour voir tes yeux

La dernière pour voir ta bouche

Et l'obscurité tout entière pour me rappeler tout cela

En te serrant dans mes bras

I am staying in contact with Arsène to discuss poetry and writing. I met up with him briefly the morning after our last class to recite to him a piece that I wrote at seventeen, which he enjoyed. I'm looking forward to reading his material and learning from a published writer, as well as an unlikely friend as well as teacher.

So, as you can see, I really enjoyed this class. Sometimes the French can get heavy, but Arsene's seamless guidance of the small class through the material keeps the class interesting and fulfilling. PoS - 0.1


There you have it - a class that has not only taken me away from the world we know with language and poetry and culture, but it has paradoxically brought me back down to Earth by showing me maybe the direction I should be following - after all, I'm not truly passionate about business - it's just my degree.

What I really enjoy lies outside the harsh business world. It's about writing, about meeting people with backgrounds completely different from your own, about seeing the world. I cannot be confined to the office. I do not know yet how I will get to do this for a living - but soon enough, once I manage to end my close friendship with Procrastination Jones, I will find a way.

So with that inspiration, Merci Arsène!


Rant over

Ollie

Let's get down to business...

Okay now the blog is up and running again, I need to continue my week of playing catch-up that I kinda abandoned and failed to maintain on the very first day. Today, I shall review the classes this semester, of course with my Probability of Sleep rating included! To highlight how long it has been since I've updated this blog, I only have one class left this Tuesday, and then I shall never have a lesson in ESC Rennes again!

I would apologise to those who find the prospect of reading about my classes extremely boring and dull, but they would have probably closed this page by now. In that case, you're an impatient douchebag - have some faith in me! I need to write this, for myself if no one else, to help me with my portfolio that I have to submit for my own university. But of course, I will try to make it as interesting as possible for everyone, not just business students. 

So because I'm a lazy bastard, I decided to take one class fewer this semester. I said goodbye to French Language, after finding it a perte de temps (for more information about this, including a kick-ass economics-style graph, see my post of December 11th, 'Good Times'http://welcometoolliewood.blogspot.fr/2011/12/good-times.html). So this term I am taking six instead of seven classes, which is still more than I would do at Warwick. Apart from my apathy, my reasons for reducing the workload included the (correct) expectation that my term would be disturbed by trips to the UK for internship-related reasons and the possibility of having more time to focus on other pursuits and further immersion into Rennes life. That one didn't happen though - I just slept more. 

Some will be thinking "Only 25 ECTS? What a lazy so-and-so!" Well, FYI, if you consider that as my credits will not be transferred or count in any way, shape or form towards my degree (apart from a fail possibly hindering my portfolio mark), doing this many classes 'for the craic' (I love that phrase, thanks Ireland!) is rather admirable....... No? Okay then...

But I've found out that due to the comparative lack of international students this term, the number of groups for French language has halved from 12 to 6, and the top three groups study French Culture in the native language. This reshuffling has meant that Matt and the Irish girls have now joined me in undertaking the module in French, as they have basically stayed in group 4or 5, but now it is out of 6 rather than 12 - meaning a much higher level for them. 

But was it? Well, in their French Language classes, one of the most advanced groups, they do wordsearches. I talked to Elena, a really kind and sweet Spanish girl who was in Group 11 with me last semester, about what they do in group 6. It really does not sound anything like the level it was last term! So it seems I'm not missing out on anything in particular, so surely that justifies my not taking the class this term..........No? Okay then...

So what courses did I do? Let's check out the business ones here - French Culture deserves its own post.

Strategic Human Resource Management - PROBABILITY OF SLEEP 0.8

Again, the HR course has turned out to be among the most problematic of my courses this semester, but for completely different reasons from that of last term's. For starters the teacher was way more likeable. Patricia Sharpley, unlike Mohammed Ali Sharifijan, is open to the views and opinions of her students, gives clear lectures with well-thought out cases, and does not support the firing of an employee for using the Internet for personal use in his lunch break (well I assume - I never asked her about that).

However, my problem with this module is not in its instruction, but its administration. The assessment for this module is not by exam, unlike every single other class I have done here (group project/individual essay and exam). Instead, we have to each interview an HR manager and compile a report based on the findings of the interview. THIS IS OUR EXAM!

How the hell can I take this course seriously? We are not being examined on the course material that has been highly repeated from the last HR course, but instead our ability to pass this course depends on our ability to a) find an HR manager b) find one that is willing to be interviewed and c) is willing to divulge company information to a complete stranger. Yippee...

Now what if you have NO connections to any HR managers, and haven't worked anywhere corporate? How the hell am I going to find one? Not only that, if you actually manage to find an HR manager who is not way too busy to spend an hour talking to you - can I add how unlikely this is too, as small business don't even have an HR manager, and those companies large enough to have one will not have one that is easily accessible to interview kids - but even if, say, you DID find one - how can you be sure that the info you're getting is true and reliable? There's so much politics in management it's ridiculous. The HR managers will be as transparent as a log.....dipped in oil.

So, as you can see, I cannot take this course seriously with such a stupid method of assessment, which does not test our comprehension of the material given, which is virtually exactly the same as the last semester (hence the high sleep probability). Not impressed, ESC Rennes. Not at all....

BUT I have found a possible solution. Apart from me working with a friend to interview his boss, I have another idea for an essay that may be beautiful if done well. So I shall write it and upload it on this blog when it is finished. (Bet you can't wait can you!)

So repeated material and stupid assessment measures mean a class for which I cannot be motivated. PoS - 0.8


Strategic Management Fundamentals - PROBABILITY OF SLEEP 0.6


Ah the mixed bag of chocolates and turds that is our strategy class. How good is this class? Well, it depends on the mood of our professor. Now don't get me wrong, if I had written this post on time, I probably would be saying something totally different. The course is possibly the best of the ones we are doing this semester - a fantastic mix of the academic theory and its practical implications.

I had never taken a specific class in strategy before, apart from a marketing and strategy class in my first year that combined the two in the same module. Now, I find it extremely interesting: how to position your business to achieve competitive advantage and maximum profits (rents). The first case study was clever too, almost like a puzzle for us to solve.

Michael Porter: making business
unnecessarily academic since 1979

The teacher, a French dude, is very passionate about his subject, and clearly has high ambitions for us. He is teaching us way beyond the 'fundamentals'. However, he is easily irritated and this week, even decided to leave the class half way through after our alleged noise and use of phones was too much to bear for him, when actually we were the quietest we had ever been! What was worse was he was teaching us all about the Resource-Based View, so any business students reading this will know how important that class would have been. He just gave us another case study to do and left!

Now we have to try to decipher the Chinese encrypted in the Strategic Management Journal all by ourselves. The teacher effectively drove us to the desert of RBV theory, guiding us on his way, dropping us off in the desert. Then he leapt back in the bus, closed the door and accelerated away, leaving us searching for the oasis that is an online article summary for dummies.... I need to stop with these extended metaphors, don't I...

But apart from that little hiccup that has made the class rather difficult, I am very happy with the class. I've learned loads, and as long as our bipolar Breton isn't too belligerent, the class is very pleasant - all fine and dandy. The fairly high PoS rating of 0.6 is because of the articles really - the class is quite enthralling.



Digital Marketing - PROBABILITY OF SLEEP 0.1


Okay. Quite simply - I love this course. It has changed my view of marketing, highlighting the importance of technology. Business and technology go hand-in-hand. The project was so much fun too - we had to design a marketing plan for a digital venture - either one that exists already or a start-up. Due to being in a group with really cool people, our idea was rather musical, and it would be cool to actually try to make it a reality (our teacher, Steve Sanazaro from Texas, was very keen on our idea!)

The logo for our 'startup' idea.

Some in my class complained that there wasn't much substance to the class, because there wasn't much that could be on the exam. I totally disagree - the videos and practical advice from the experienced teacher is far more useful than anything that could be examined. We'll forget what we crammed for the exam the day after. What you remember is the stuff that's practical and hits home - our teacher knew that, and so I thank him for making his class so much more interesting than the general useless drivel that we are made to learn at business school.

PoS - 0.1, It was 8.15am on a Tuesday. You can't rule out the possibility of a snooze.


Business to Business (B2B) Marketing - PROBABILITY OF SLEEP 0


After missing the first class due to the most epic hangover of my life after a brutal and messy Open Bar, I quickly regretted that decision. For this class was taught by who I like to call Lord Baldemort. Apart from being folically challenged, he is also pedantic to the point of pain. He does not use slides - he dictates notes, and asks us to fill the gaps in. Don't get me wrong, this is a fantastic teaching method, encouraging us to work out certain things for ourselves (often comparisons between business-to-business and business-to-consumer marketing). However, he is rather patronising when we don't get it right (which is often the case - we haven't learnt this before!).

So after scrounging a group together with fellow absentees from the first class, I chose the professional services sector for the project (thought I'd kill two birds with one stone, as I still had open applications for PwC and Deloitte). Of course, this soon turned out to be a mistake, with no business-to-consumer market to compare to, and as the first to present our findings, we took quite a beating from Baldemort, the Cruciatus curse of his criticism curdling my blood.

I chose to use the first film Voldy because it looks an awful lot more like our teacher.

So I found myself writing the report feeling like my life depended on it, or the alopecic demon would send me to Hell with a flash of green light. But despite his relentless patronising and overpowering ego (he's one of those few Brits who have mastered French, and he ain't afraid to show it - bilingual and he knows it), he's actually rather likeable due to his cheek, and unlike the HR teacher from the previous semester, his stubbornness in his opinions is justified with clear knowledge and experience.

But it was an interesting class, and I wouldn't dare dose off for fear of getting attacked. PoS - 0.


Applied Marketing Research - PROBABILITY OF SLEEP 0.9


Finally, there was the Applied Marketing Research shambles - I MEAN class. I honestly don't know what I was supposed to learn from it. It did not start off particularly well, with a French teacher who, despite his charm, was rather annoying with his use of examples in French and even Portuguese. This is meant to be taught in English, hello?

My work in class: creating a meme of my teacher
using Word and Shapes

But then it got worse. Much worse. At least we kind of understood what we needed to do for the focus group assignment (ze fuck us groop). Then came the quantitative part, taught by a Chinese woman with incomprehensible English. I mean - she actually cannot communicate well enough to teach a class! We had no clue what she was on about, and if it weren't for my netbook keeping me sane with 9gag.com during those classes, I would most probably have dosed off (Hence PoS- 0.9). She would stop every now and then to ask us "Have you any question?" which usually meant "Be quiet". We were left two days before the due date for the presentation completely clueless as to what we needed to present or do for the project. The class was disappointing, as I had had high expectations for a class that could teach me something Warwick doesn't seem to focus on. The class was one of the main reasons I chose the IBPM courses in the first place, but ah well - it's over now. Just an exam testing God knows what.


Sorry for the delay, but there's the boring course summary over and done with. Some great classes this term, with Digital Marketing and Strategy being very useful, B2B being informative despite me being scared for my life, HR and Marketing Research being on the more useless and unfeasible scale, while French Culture was there to take me away from the gloomy world of business, and make my soul sing with culture and language, but more on that in the next post!



Rant over (Fuck it, I like this sign-off line!)

Ollie

Oops!

Disclaimer: This was meant to be up last night, but the stupid computer couldn't handle the image uploads and took forever to do so. So I fell asleep while waiting, as you do... Ah well, nevermind! Here is yesterday's post!

Wow it feels good to be back writing this blog! I am so sorry (mostly to myself) that it has taken so long to update this. It's just that March has been such an incredibly busy and hectic month, and I don't really know where to begin there! So, in true Ollish fashion, I shall put it off and look to April.

HANG ON A MINUTE! Who are you again?

The delay in updates was taking the piss...

Oh yeah! Firstly, however, I should reintroduce myself and this blog, considering it has been nearly two months since the last installment of my story. I am Ollie Lloyd, a 21 year old Welshman who is studying in Warwick Business School in England. However, after two years of undertaking a strangely over-academic business education that I cannot help but ridicule, I found myself on a ferry across the sea to the city of Rennes in Brittany, France, to 'study' at the local business school ESC Rennes, and learn more about the wonderful world of business.

However, in the seven months I have been here, I have learned far more than I ever thought I could, and this has not just been about marketing, The things I have learned have included how to survive in a foreign land, how to befriend and learn from people from all corners of the world, and why you should not go to an Open Bar the night before your first class with Lord Baldemort (more on that later). 

But most importantly - I have learned about myself. I now know what makes me want to get up every morning (at 12pm of course! I am still a student after all!). I also now have a sense of empowerment that neither Sheepland or Englandland could give me. I have experienced my own renaissance, and boy oh boy does it feel good! I feel that I can achieve anything, that the world is my oyster (it's a cliché expression I know, but when you have befriended and created connections with people from every continent, it kind of makes sense to you!).

Now I am not here to boast, because a) I'm not of that disposition and b) I have nothing to boast about. I am still a lazy idiot who likes to leave his essays until literally the last minute. I still lack the coordination to successfully flip and catch a beer mat without spilling my own pint. I have not found any discernible talent that will make me amazingly rich. No - I just feel more content, and it's all thanks to living in this small dog turd-covered city. 

Reunion with a few of my favourite people, chez moi.

Okay I hope this optimism has successfully set the tone for this post, because it is definitely nothing like my last one. Limbo is long gone. The term has started, and Rennes is buzzing with life once more. Indeed, there are nothing like as many international students as there were last semester, but there are still some great new people. I have also become closer with some who have also been here since September. What I have learned is friends are no different than essays in the sense that it is about quality over quantity. Five friends who you are extremely close with and can do anything together beats having fifty acquaintances. Trust me, I know!

Seems like you have a LOT to catch up on!

You're absolutely right, strange schizophrenic sub-heading! It shames me to say, but over half the second semester has passed, so I have an appalling amount of writing to do to bring the story up to date. The amount I need to talk about has grown exponentially like a snowball gathering snow as it rolls down a mountainside: and finally getting round to writing it down has become increasingly difficult as the task has grown. With March being so busy there was no time for me to set aside to finally get an update online. April, however, has brought me time. Lots of time. 

So you can expect a blog post every day this week. We're going to do a lucky magical number seven. Seven days in a week, seven deadly sins, seven wonders of the world, seven Horcruxes, seven dwarfs, seven members of S Club 7....okay I'm going off the point. Basically seven posts for the first seven days of April - and it will cover everything.

Day 1: April and its significance.

Day 2: The classes this term.

Day 3: Life in general - fun and friends.

Day 4: You can't go to France for a year without a visit to Paris!

Day 5: Why next year won't be too bad after all.

Day 6: Why my internship hunt is finally over.

Day 7: I finally outline the rest of Ollie and Sitzel's Great European January Adventure! 

Hopefully that should get everything back on track! Then we can forget this ever happened and move on with our lives....

So where are we on this list today? Oh what a surprise - the first post!

APRIL AND ITS SIGNIFICANCE, by Oliver R. Lloyd III. 

So why is this upcoming month so important? Simple - because it's the last.

Yes, I'm afraid so. It really has come around that quickly, and I really have missed out on a big chunk of the year in my blogging. Day-to-day life as a student in ESC Rennes as we know it will end with the month of April, as those on the undergraduate transfer programme finish their year then, and leave promptly to save themselves the expense of another month's rent. Among these people will be some of my best friends here: Matt the Englishman, Rob the Cypriot, the Irish girls and others! The Masters students will also finish this month, leaving Rennes a much quieter place.

As for us, the students on the IBPM scheme, our exams annoyingly finish on the 7th May, necessitating an extra month of rent. Many will leave that week, including my favourite Mexican Itzel, so they will not be staying much longer than those leaving in April, and the extra time will mostly be spent studying for the exams.

Me? I will be staying in Rennes a little longer to work for the ESC Admissibles team. I heard about this opportunity from Katie, with whom I will be undertaking the placement. Basically, we are welcoming the new students to Rennes who are due to start the Grande Ecole programme this year. We will cater for them and partying is compulsory, and for this clearly difficult and stressful job we will be renumerated considerably. 

A more important consequence, however, is that finally I will have some continuity. I can stay in Rennes now for another three months STRAIGHT. It won't be lonely after May because a few friends, including the excellent Ecuadorian Simon, are also doing the Admissibles job. 

A McJob in a foreign language can't be that bad...

Furthermore, being in Rennes for three months with no further trips away means that maybe I can find a job here to make the financial side of life here more comfortable. I am actually planning on applying to McDonalds. I had said I'd never work in food again after Pizza Hut, but as this is a job entirely in French, the benefits for my language will add to the money and somewhat mitigate what probably will not be a very enjoyable McJob. Failing that, I could volunteer. Give back to the community of the city that has changed my life, whilst improving my French at the same time.

I am still not fluent in the language, not really anyway. Knowing the linguistic ability of the average Brit, however, I could probably pass as fluent in French compared to others in the UK - but that's not really enough. I still struggle to understand spoken French when babbled at full native speed. It's no good being able to say something in French (albeit poorly) to a native when you cannot understand their response! 

But three months uninterrupted in Rennes should do the trick, especially considering the group projects and classes are coming to an end and all that remains is exam revision. This means I have more time to focus on becoming courant on an international level, not just for a Breeteesh guy. Increased watching of French TV and movies is in order, I think! I may also look at doing the DALF, the French equivalent of the TOEFL for English, to officially confirm my fluency. It depends on the cost of course. 

Anyway, with this listing of objectives, strategy and tactics I'm starting to sound like a marketing plan! The point is - I have been blessed with two extra months in France, and I plan to use them! 

For the rest of this month, however, I have another priority: to make the most of this last month with everyone still here. The weather has improved, and we have spent time in the park in shorts and T-shirts - and I imagine there will be more of that, but also anything we haven't done yet, such as trips to local places like Dinard, St Malo and Vannes, needs to be checked off the list, as well as the things we know we enjoy. Basically, we need to do whatever it takes to spend quality time together as a kick-ass cosmopolitan group!

The view of St Malo from my ferry back to the UK 

It will be an emotional month, probably even more so than December, but it will be great too! Like I said at the beginning, living in Rennes has been life-changingly (new adverb there) brilliant, so it is only fitting to see it out with a bang! 

So, in homage to my French Culture teacher Arsene*, who exudes jolliness through his love and appreciation of the spoken and written word, I shall finish this post with a short poem of my own. As you can see I'm no Wordsworth or Heaney. This is just a quick message to my peers at ESC Rennes for this upcoming month: 

The challenges that remain,

We shall all surmount.

So don't count these last days,

Make these last days count!

Bonne soirée**

Ollie

*I know there's supposed to be a grave accent on the 'e', but I haven't worked out how to do any accents on my computer apart from é. So please French grammar police, let me off there.

**I still haven't thought of a new sign-off line to replace the often inappropriate 'Rant over', so this will have to do for now! Wishing you a good evening or day comme les Francais font will suffice for now.

Life in Limbo

Hello! I have been meaning to continue the GEJA story this week, but Procrastination Jones has come from Leamington Spa to visit me. We, along with Matt, have been watching Peep Show together: about 27 episodes in the last week. I never bothered watching it because I didn't like That Mitchell and Webb Look, but it is actually brilliantly written and very funny. Definitely recommended!

However, I cannot let the postponed GEJA updates hold up my updates about life in Rennes, or this blog will go to pot. I have been back in Rennes now for.... um...... I did a week in Rennes before going home, and I came back on Monday. Okay so it hasn't even been two weeks. Not too bad! I haven't left the first Rennes term 2 update too long.

Although to be brutally honest, it doesn't really matter how long I've been here. It took a little while to calculate how long it's been since I've been back because I've kinda lost track of time. I've been stuck in limbo.

The GEJA is now over. After 21 days of ceaseless walking, early mornings and spending more time asleep on a train than in a hostel, Simon, Itzel and I were exhausted and longing for our beds at Appart City. We were so excited. Usually after a trip, holiday, cow-tipping session... you do not want it to end. There's nothing to look forward to on the other side. But as the SNCF pulled into Rennes station, we leapt out and hugged each other, excited for a second semester at ESC Rennes, and more great Erasmus times ahead! There would be new Erasmus students as well as old friends, and more great times at la Rue de la Soif and beyond. We could have weekend trips - see more of the world! We could enjoy ourselves as the carefree exchange students we were last term...

So why do I feel like I'm stuck in limbo?


France for the French


Okay the first week. Arriving back in Appart City just after midnight on the night of Monday 23rd January, I knew I could not rest properly until my interview for PwC was over at 5pm on Wednesday. There was a lot of preparation to do, and I had very little time to do it in.

Due to a technical issue, I had to go to school to use the Internet for my research. Naturally, this meant bumping into old faces and the odd catch-up. I saw my Cypriot friend Rob in the corridor, and had dinner with my Swiss mate Jonas, as well as a few quick chats with the very few people I recognised.

The atmosphere at school was different. No longer alive with the excitement of cosmopolitanism, but a metaphorical cemetery of an overly-French population. Many Erasmus students did not return, and much to my surprise there were no more to replace them. I had been looking forward to welcoming new people to our Appart City group, but the rooms that were once inhabited by people I cared about are now occupied by businessmen on a conference, people travelling through, and.....well, I can't be bothered to use tripling here. It may as well be Madeline McCann in there for all I care. The point is: they are not part of our heavily-reduced group of exchange students.

Briefly jumping ahead a few days, I had 'everyone' over for drinks and a catch up. It was a brilliant evening, but what hit me was that 'everyone' had become such a small quantity. There were 11 of us, including a couple of people not from Appart City. So few! I felt like I was part of a refugee group, huddling in the confined space of my room away from the relentless French invasion. It's like 1066 all over again, except we were in their country.

Now, I'm trying to see this positively. I need to up my game this term with learning the French. I NEED to be fluent in it! What better opportunity than a greatly increased French population! Well, here's the rub: they're French! They've come back from their exchange programmes and are happy in their own cliques. It will be like term 1 all over again, with the slow integration of the French and international groups, when only after a month or two was any international bothering with any French person.

Last term this didn't bother me too much, as I had plenty of awesome international friends. This term, however, it sucks! I have gone from the comfort of a vast international network to part of the small group of outcasts. There are no party-hungry Belgians, no dining-fanatic Dutch, no joyous Spanish (this time the subject deserved a tripling!) but merely more French, with their strange propensity for tuneless singing and bizarre sense of humour.

Limbo Reason #1: Waiting to make new friends.

What to do? Well, my classmates hadn't arrived yet, and there was no time to dwell on it now - I had an interview to worry about!


The Interview that Would Not End

PwC: my big chance! But how to prepare? I spent time on Facebook chatting to a few who had already done internships at PwC asking their advice, I needed somewhere to start! Unfortunately, time passed as it does when you're on Facebook and catching up with some good people, and I hadn't really done anything! I was supposed to know about what's happening in the news. I knew nothing of economics! The world is fucked, that's about it! I didn't know why, just that it is!

I needed sleep so took a fairly early night. 01:00. I'm a student alright?! That's early!

The next day, I realised I was screwed. I knew nothing of the company, the news....anything?! I needed my dad. I rang him to ask him how to deal with not knowing an answer at interview. This wasn't good. I had already given up on passing. Now my sole concern was avoiding looking like a tit (well, sounding. Was a telephone interview).

I was so stressed, not to mention tired after not having had my well-needed post-GEJA hibernation. The clock was racing away, unlike my brain, which was murmuring utter drivel for my poor excuse of interview notes. 15:50. I had to be ready to take the call at 4pm. I sat waiting, panicking, rehearsing the line "I'm sorry but I do not know the answer, but I am keen to improve on this area".

Why was I kidding myself that I could get this internship? I'm not Employable Ollie: I'm an Unemployable Wally! Just keep calm, do your best, and work at the Graduate Programme application next year. 16:00. I sat with my eyes closed, waiting for the time bomb that was my phone to explode with noise.....

But it didn't come. Maybe the interviewer was busy. After all, it is a competitive process. 16:05. Okay this was getting weird. 16:15. Hmmmm.....maybe it was 16h British time and not French time. 17:00. No call. 17:10. Okay it's not happening. I've been saved from humiliation! This was brilliant!

I still don't know why there was a technical error, but I'm partly grateful for it and partly resentful. It meant that I had an extra week to prepare, but it also led me to go home to take the call in case they couldn't make an international call, or that Appart City had poor signal. But that's the thing: I couldn't relax for another week! I was supposed to have a week of pure recuperation, with no commitments, but now I had merely 2 days of actual vacation before I had to start term again. It wouldn't end!

So to stop boring you with the details, I had spent my second week kind of preparing, whilst on Facebook with Procrastination Jones. Luckily, Prokey didn't stop me from passing the interview. (YEAH YOU HEARD ME EMPLOYABLE OLLIE! Wait, why am I talking about my metaphorical creations like they're real people? God I need to get out more....)

I found out Monday as soon as I got back from the UK that I would have to return in a month for an assessment centre. I can't get too comfortable here! And now I'm still waiting to hear from Unilever, PwC, Towers Watson and BT about interviews and assessment centres, unable to make other arrangements for the summer until I know whether or not I have been accepted. Vacancies are filling up, so I wish they'd hurry up!

Limbo Reason #2: I've only been thinking about internships. BORING!


First week of term


Now I'm back in what will hopefully be a routine, I'm still not really enjoying it. When I arrived Monday, it hit me that I actually don't have much money to splurge on trips away, or meals out, or nights out.......or allow any sort of flexibility for adventurous excursions. I would have to be tight this term. Set a budget and control it. That's not fun! That's what my parents did at university! I'm on ERASMUS! I need to be free and spontaneous. Wanna go to Portugal? OKAY! Wanna see some random Breton city? WHY NOT! Wanna go paintballing in the freezing cold? SURE! Wanna join me and pull your trousers down in the middle of the club? NO MATT THAT'S WEIRD!  I feel caged by lack of funds. If I can get one of those internships it would be okay but OH GOD I'M THINKING ABOUT THEM AGAIN!

I need a part time job. It would be AWESOME for my French, as well as giving me some extra cash so I don't have to work with pizzas again back in Warwick. Sigh, Warwick: it's so close! Only one semester more and I'll be back there, trapped in the Bubble preparing to become a corporate bitch. I need to make the most of my time in the open, as a youth!

But I haven't really done anything towards getting a job this week. Class started Tuesday, and I quite enjoyed it (Strategy), and after that I did a silly thing. Bought an Open Bar ticket. It had been too long since I had just let go and drank as much vodka and orange juice shots as my body could take. Maybe I could meet new people that night. Rebuild a large group at Rennes! I can't let term 2 at Rennes be as boring and soul-crushing as year 2 at Warwick.

As it turned out......no. We all just got slammed. I don't know how either - I only drank about 10 shots! There must have been more in those shots than merely alcohol and Vitamin C, because I had never been so hungover the day after! But that night, the drunkenness hit me like running into a brick wall. The negative thoughts about loneliness and career worries were flooding in uncontrollably, and my mental dam had been severely weakened by the vodka. I fell silent. I needed my own space to regain control. So I didn't bother talking to anyone, making new friends. This wasn't the place for it anyway. This was a place for getting drunk and doing or saying things you wouldn't do otherwise, 90% of the time with bad results.

Why do we get drunk? Why do we enjoy losing control of our bodies and minds? To get Dutch courage? Nothing more attractive than passing out in your own vomit. To enjoy ourselves with our friends? Okay that has definitely happened to me (on occasion) when drunk, but what happened to good old fashioned games and banter and stuff like that? Are we young people really so depressed that we need the drug that is alcohol to have a good time? I realise now (after a Thursday spent in bed, wrapping myself in my duvet like a fajita to minimise the pain) how I don't actually enjoy binge drinking. It doesn't make me any more sociable or anything than when I'm sober!

Maybe I'm overreacting by deciding to stop binge drinking. I'm an Erasmus student aren't I?! Carpe Diem, life's too short! I guess I just miss my friends. My fellow Warwickers and our French chats - I now feel like a pompous showoff every time I speak it in my friends' company. The Finnish girls and how just their presence at Appart City made it feel more like home. The Belgians and how they'd just start a party on impulse. There'd always be something to do, somewhere to go. But now, it just feels desolate.

The good thing is that our classmates have come back, and so the international population has grown somewhat, but the way the classes have been organised means that I don't get to be in any class with quite a few of them. It's difficult to have a proper catch up.

I just need to get used to it I guess. This term was always going to be different, but why can't it be enjoyable? I'm dangerously close to returning to my pre-Rennes mental state, and this can't happen! I had never been so positive as I had last term. I need to keep this up! It's just another shit phase (see my post on 28th November). I overcame the last one, I can do it again!

I hope my next Rennes update will be more cheerful, but to do that I need to be more cheerful. Life has its ups and downs, and my year abroad is no different. But I need to stop moaning and focus on the good things. I'm going to recycle the picture I uploaded on my first post of the year, because I clearly need to remind myself of a few lines. "If you don't like something, change it". "Some opportunities only come once, seize them". "Stop over analyzing". "Life is about the people you meet and the things you create with them, so go out and start creating".

Limbo Reason #3: I'm not doing this. I'm not doing anything.

Maybe you need reminding too. If so, good luck.

Ollie

SIX NATIONS!!! Weekend 1

Yes! I love this time of the year! Six Nations Rugby! A time when confidence in Wales is high, and the friendly local rivalries begin. The last two years I have been in England and watched in despair as those white-shirted bastards beat our national treasures into submission.

But this year? Oh ho ho ho! Hopes are high for us Welsh after our wonderful feat over the Irish in the World Cup quarter final. If Wales beat Ireland tomorrow, it will be the first time we have beaten Ireland 3 times in a row since 1978 and the classic XV with the likes of Gareth Edwards, JPR Williams and Gerald Davies.

So what to make of this tournament? Well France and England both have the new coaches they need, and under Phillipe Saint-Andre's leadership France seem to have undergone a renaissance as the powerful side that they are, but they have merely defeated Italy at home by 18 points, so it is way too early to judge just yet.

Italy aren't looking too bad though. Honestly, they could potentially beat Scotland and England (well of course they could beat Ireland and Wales too. I sincerely doubt it, but they could!) The score today flattered the French a little, with the Italians putting in so much effort and having a fair few good chances, with Sergio Parisse on his usual form.

So what about the Calcutta Cup clash? Well, as we all know, England played rather badly at the World Cup, and were lucky to get to the quarter final! However, the arsehole Martin Johnson has rightfully been fired, and the new coach Stuart Lancaster has brought an inexperienced England team to Murrayfield, with a captain who has only had one cap, openside flanker Chris Robshaw. They are missing their able full-back Delon Armitage and his friend the scrum half Danny Care due to their arrests. However, this is England. You never know.

But Scotland aren't the best team anyway, and right now they aren't looking that good. They failed to qualify for the World Cup quarter finals for the first time in their history. However, they're far more experienced and have the home advantage, and will be looking for revenge against England in the World Cup.

Of course, as a Welshman, I support whoever plays England, so come on Scotland!

My prediction: Scotland to win by about 7 points. It will be close, and the quality of rugby will have nothing on tomorrow's match. 


Wales v Ireland will be difficult as ever to call. Everyone's talking about the Irish back row being one of the best in the world with Stephen Ferris, Sean O'Brien and Jamie Heaslip, but of course our own back row with Lydiate, captain Warburton and Faletau won that battle in New Zealand. This time, however, we're without Lydiate, and are bringing in veteran Ryan Jones (he went to my school!)  at no 6. We're also missing our world-class loosehead prop Gethin Jenkins and our second-row Alun Wyn Jones. They are being respectively replaced by Rhys Gill and Ian Evans, who along with Alex Cuthbert at No 14 (filling the winger vacancy left by the legendary Shane Williams) have only one cap each.

However, there is also hope for the Welsh side. If it weren't for a certain announcement on Friday, I would be expecting an Ireland victory. Rhys Priestland, our favourite new fly-half and our hardy inside centre Jamie Roberts have been given the go-ahead by the doctor and will hopefully continue their deadly twin-attack against Ireland that got us into the semi-final last time. Also, Ireland are missing their greatest player, the incredible Brian O'Driscoll, and his replacement Keith Earls has had to pull out due to his daughter's illness (wishing you well Earls!), so Fergus McFadden will be wearing the No 13 jersey, and his style is different from that Earls had been training with the team. But like Scotland, the Irish will be looking for revenge, and will benefit from their home advantage.

My prediction for this one? Difficult to call. I reckon it will be close, within 10 points, and could swing either way. If I HAVE to call a winner, I'll say Ireland will take it, though of course I need to have faith in the Welsh team.

Oh well, see how it goes! Let's enjoy some quality rugby, but only after the England game.....

By the way I'm at home and my interview is done, but I left my notes in France so will have to continue the GEJA blog when I get back on Monday.

Employable Ollie had a point. Why do I say 'rant over' for the sake of having a 'catchphrase'? Maybe you guys could suggest a new sign-off line? For now, I'm gonna be patriotic.

Cymru Am Byth
Ollie


EDIT: Before I even posted this, the Calcutta match is over and I was proven wrong. England win by 7 points instead due to Dan Parks's easily charge-downable kicks. With 60% possession, Scotland had so many opportunities, but the poor bastards just can't score. They had so many fantastic chances, and their no 8 David Denton deservedly won Man of the Match for fantastic play, including a beautiful try-saving tackle. There was also one case where Scotland were denied a debatable try by the TMO. Good news is though: England were very uninspiring, and if they play like that against Wales, Ireland and France, they should be owned. Oh well, bad news today with French and English victories. Here's hoping it's not ALL bad news tomorrow! CYMRU AM BYTH!

Employable Ollie: 10 reasons why oblivious Oliver is unemployable

Hello proletariat! It is I, Employable Ollie, the cleverest, handsomest and most modest young man this side of the Milky Way.

Now, my dim-witted alter-ego, the Oliver Lloyd that usually writes these blog posts, has left his blogger on, so I have braped him (haha do you like my lexical manipulation of the term 'fraped' meaning 'facebook raped' but modified for Blogger? Guffaw guffaw).

You haven't heard from him for a while, not because he is a lazy and clumsy buffoon (although he is of course) but because he is busy preparing for an interview for PriceWaterhouseCoopers, a company so superior that they can put all three names into one word.

Now, my un-Harvard-educated Mr Hyde was supposed to have had his interview on Wednesday, a mere 36 hours after returning from his travels. He was rightfully vexed, as PwC (they have abbreviated themselves to become, as the youth of today say, more 'with it') expect more than what he has to offer. Indeed, due to a technical failure on the part of the company, the Welsh plebeian has received the Godsend of an extra week to prepare, but even so - I do not think he will succeed. These are my justifications:

1. He thinks his recent trip will set him apart
PAHA! No. How does traveling around on various trains for three weeks, eating various food, and taking photos of yourself in front of various buildings make you more employable? Did he run a project on this trip? No. Did he acquire any more languages? Learning merely how to say 'thank you' in Hungarian does not count I'm afraid. Did he immerse himself in foreign cultures? How could he when he spent a maximum of two days in each city?! No, the only thing he managed to do on his trip was to waste time and money when he should have been preparing for this interview. This trip was a hindrance, not a benefit, and to believe otherwise is pure folly.

2. He's fluent in bullshit, not French.
Oliver managed to bullshit his way through his Unilever interview, convincing them that he is a worthy candidate through making his work as a swimming coach for disabled children an example of his creativity. A better example of his creativity would actually be how he is making up such anecdotes in interview! Unfortunately for my fickle friend, PwC will not take his bullshit. If he claims fluency in French, then they would probably conduct the interview in French, leaving him as helpless as a blind man stuck in a hall of mirrors.

3. He thinks the 'eurozone' is a boyband.
One of the core competencies that PwC look for is commercial awareness. One needs to be aware of recent international developments in both economic and political spheres. Oliver does not. He could not explain the origin of the eurozone crisis, or the global one for that matter; and he does not even know who the Prime Minister of Genoa is! Why would PwC hire someone who is almost autistic in his awareness of his surroundings to consult other firms on how best to tackle Human Resource issues? Not only does he fail to follow developments, but he does not understand some of the terminology, and hence cannot follow the news. He is a third-year business student! If he studied something totally pointless like English Literature, then maybe one could forgive him for being so asinine, but he has no excuse.

4. He is far too left-wing.
Now he actually is paying attention to the news, Oliver has noticed the debate regarding the bonus of Stephen Hester, the chief executive of RBS, a bank 83% owned by the taxpayer. The stubborn fool thinks it is immoral that Hester should receive any bonus at all, after the poor performance, lack of lending to small businesses, the fact that the bonus is mostly from the taxpayer, the share price being half of what it was last year, and that they "shouldn't be paying him when they could be paying the salaries of the workers who lost their jobs".
Fool! Hester is only on 1.2 million pounds a year! How can he put food on the table (of his Aston Martin stretched limousine) without a bonus? Someone of his calibre and experience in gambling poor people's money is a rarity, so unless he is adequately compensated he will not be around to guide RBS out of the utter trouble that Fred Goodwin left them in. Oliver needs to open his mind and realise that and shut up about the firemen who risk their lives daily for a tiny salary and no bonus. Just throw some water on it!

5. He is too poor
How did I get seven degrees from Harvard? Simple. Mummy and daddy paid my way in. Mummy is the chief executive of Exxon Mobil (just kidding - she is the HR executive. Like a woman can run a company!) and my daddy was Steve Jobs, so I had enough money to bribe my way in to the best school in the world. Oh yes, RIP daddy. Thank you for the free iMac, although I wanted a Dell....
Oliver, however, is the son of a teacher and a quality assurance manager for a publicly funded adult education project, the sort that only exist in poor areas of Britain. He had to get into Warwick Business School, which has nothing on Harvard, on merit alone! At school he is among the poorest, and has no connections. Daddy got me my first internship in charge of the iPod mini, which was a massive success until my long-term rival Reginald came up with the Nano, the cretin. Oliver's parents know no one in business, so in this world of nepotism, what chance does he really have? He would have to scrape by on merit again, something which he lacks.

6. He makes friends, not connections.
In this world, if you want to progress up the ladder, you need to use people, like I had just insinuated in my previous point. Although Oliver comes from a background with no connections, he is in a school with people who can get somewhere in life. Two of his best friends will become investment bankers, but can he use their graft to get those positions to his personal advantage? NO! Because he befriended them, and social and market norms do not mix. If they were connections, Oliver could use them to avoid the long arduous selection process that he would fail, and be making more than his father when he graduates at the age of 22. But no, the gregarious imbecile is not taking advantage of people, so he has to ascend the mountain of success himself, unaided by the climbing gear of rich associates, and fall with the avalanche of HR.

7. He is far too easily distracted.
Now Oliver has never discussed this in his blog; but like most unsuccessful men at his age, his mind often lingers on women. I do not understand the attraction myself. Everyone knows that women are merely an obstacle sent from God to stop the unworthy from getting to the top. It happened to Dominique Strauss Kahn, Silvio Berlusconi and Adolf Hitler (he killed himself one day into marriage because he could not tolerate the bitch any longer), it could happen to Oliver as well. If he put as much thought into JP Morgan as he does for Natalie Portman then he could be....well....me!

8. He is too ugly.
His fixation on those without the Y chromosome is a total waste of time because he is just too unattractive. Look at the people who work for the financial services firms. They are the best representation of mankind, flawless in complexion as well as countenance.

 

 

Okay,  look at me. Handsome and charming, engaging the ladies with my superior wit and wisdom.

 

Now look at Oliver, repelling those around him with his alcohol addiction.

Oliver is far from perfect. He is overweight and out of shape, and you can see the small beer belly hugging his unfashionable attire. This belly demonstrates that, rather than using his energies to train physically and mentally for world domination, he dedicates his time to drinking excessive amounts of commoner fluids such as beer and Coca Cola. If I were of the propensity to become, as the youth say, 'squiffy', I would go for a nice 1812 Cognac, and sip it whilst watching my electronic Dow Jones graph fluctuate on daddy's iPad.

9. He is too idiosyncratic
Oliver is a strange human being. For someone with a degree of intellect that is a little above average compared to others of the same poverty, he does not use it. He puts his energies into being overly outgoing and makes far too many terrible jokes. He does not concentrate, and he is not skilled in anything in particular. I would say he is a jack of all trades, but he would be just awful as a carpenter or blacksmith, so he cannot work within his own antiquated social class. His only option is to go corporate, but he is too much of a maverick in his views (no banker bonuses - tut tut) to be able to fit in. Indeed, PwC ask for someone who does and sees things differently, but as any businessman would know, they are not. They are looking for someone to mould into their culture, and Oliver just is not malleable enough.

Finally, number 10: He is on his blog instead of actually preparing for the interview! 

I would sign off with 'rant over' as Oliver does, but I find that line absurd, because he does not often actually rant.

Anyway, this should teach him not to leave his Blogger on. I shall now depart for a conference with Goldman Sachs.

Ciao, plebeians!

Employable Ollie