Employable Ollie: 10 reasons why oblivious Oliver is unemployable

Hello proletariat! It is I, Employable Ollie, the cleverest, handsomest and most modest young man this side of the Milky Way.

Now, my dim-witted alter-ego, the Oliver Lloyd that usually writes these blog posts, has left his blogger on, so I have braped him (haha do you like my lexical manipulation of the term 'fraped' meaning 'facebook raped' but modified for Blogger? Guffaw guffaw).

You haven't heard from him for a while, not because he is a lazy and clumsy buffoon (although he is of course) but because he is busy preparing for an interview for PriceWaterhouseCoopers, a company so superior that they can put all three names into one word.

Now, my un-Harvard-educated Mr Hyde was supposed to have had his interview on Wednesday, a mere 36 hours after returning from his travels. He was rightfully vexed, as PwC (they have abbreviated themselves to become, as the youth of today say, more 'with it') expect more than what he has to offer. Indeed, due to a technical failure on the part of the company, the Welsh plebeian has received the Godsend of an extra week to prepare, but even so - I do not think he will succeed. These are my justifications:

1. He thinks his recent trip will set him apart
PAHA! No. How does traveling around on various trains for three weeks, eating various food, and taking photos of yourself in front of various buildings make you more employable? Did he run a project on this trip? No. Did he acquire any more languages? Learning merely how to say 'thank you' in Hungarian does not count I'm afraid. Did he immerse himself in foreign cultures? How could he when he spent a maximum of two days in each city?! No, the only thing he managed to do on his trip was to waste time and money when he should have been preparing for this interview. This trip was a hindrance, not a benefit, and to believe otherwise is pure folly.

2. He's fluent in bullshit, not French.
Oliver managed to bullshit his way through his Unilever interview, convincing them that he is a worthy candidate through making his work as a swimming coach for disabled children an example of his creativity. A better example of his creativity would actually be how he is making up such anecdotes in interview! Unfortunately for my fickle friend, PwC will not take his bullshit. If he claims fluency in French, then they would probably conduct the interview in French, leaving him as helpless as a blind man stuck in a hall of mirrors.

3. He thinks the 'eurozone' is a boyband.
One of the core competencies that PwC look for is commercial awareness. One needs to be aware of recent international developments in both economic and political spheres. Oliver does not. He could not explain the origin of the eurozone crisis, or the global one for that matter; and he does not even know who the Prime Minister of Genoa is! Why would PwC hire someone who is almost autistic in his awareness of his surroundings to consult other firms on how best to tackle Human Resource issues? Not only does he fail to follow developments, but he does not understand some of the terminology, and hence cannot follow the news. He is a third-year business student! If he studied something totally pointless like English Literature, then maybe one could forgive him for being so asinine, but he has no excuse.

4. He is far too left-wing.
Now he actually is paying attention to the news, Oliver has noticed the debate regarding the bonus of Stephen Hester, the chief executive of RBS, a bank 83% owned by the taxpayer. The stubborn fool thinks it is immoral that Hester should receive any bonus at all, after the poor performance, lack of lending to small businesses, the fact that the bonus is mostly from the taxpayer, the share price being half of what it was last year, and that they "shouldn't be paying him when they could be paying the salaries of the workers who lost their jobs".
Fool! Hester is only on 1.2 million pounds a year! How can he put food on the table (of his Aston Martin stretched limousine) without a bonus? Someone of his calibre and experience in gambling poor people's money is a rarity, so unless he is adequately compensated he will not be around to guide RBS out of the utter trouble that Fred Goodwin left them in. Oliver needs to open his mind and realise that and shut up about the firemen who risk their lives daily for a tiny salary and no bonus. Just throw some water on it!

5. He is too poor
How did I get seven degrees from Harvard? Simple. Mummy and daddy paid my way in. Mummy is the chief executive of Exxon Mobil (just kidding - she is the HR executive. Like a woman can run a company!) and my daddy was Steve Jobs, so I had enough money to bribe my way in to the best school in the world. Oh yes, RIP daddy. Thank you for the free iMac, although I wanted a Dell....
Oliver, however, is the son of a teacher and a quality assurance manager for a publicly funded adult education project, the sort that only exist in poor areas of Britain. He had to get into Warwick Business School, which has nothing on Harvard, on merit alone! At school he is among the poorest, and has no connections. Daddy got me my first internship in charge of the iPod mini, which was a massive success until my long-term rival Reginald came up with the Nano, the cretin. Oliver's parents know no one in business, so in this world of nepotism, what chance does he really have? He would have to scrape by on merit again, something which he lacks.

6. He makes friends, not connections.
In this world, if you want to progress up the ladder, you need to use people, like I had just insinuated in my previous point. Although Oliver comes from a background with no connections, he is in a school with people who can get somewhere in life. Two of his best friends will become investment bankers, but can he use their graft to get those positions to his personal advantage? NO! Because he befriended them, and social and market norms do not mix. If they were connections, Oliver could use them to avoid the long arduous selection process that he would fail, and be making more than his father when he graduates at the age of 22. But no, the gregarious imbecile is not taking advantage of people, so he has to ascend the mountain of success himself, unaided by the climbing gear of rich associates, and fall with the avalanche of HR.

7. He is far too easily distracted.
Now Oliver has never discussed this in his blog; but like most unsuccessful men at his age, his mind often lingers on women. I do not understand the attraction myself. Everyone knows that women are merely an obstacle sent from God to stop the unworthy from getting to the top. It happened to Dominique Strauss Kahn, Silvio Berlusconi and Adolf Hitler (he killed himself one day into marriage because he could not tolerate the bitch any longer), it could happen to Oliver as well. If he put as much thought into JP Morgan as he does for Natalie Portman then he could be....well....me!

8. He is too ugly.
His fixation on those without the Y chromosome is a total waste of time because he is just too unattractive. Look at the people who work for the financial services firms. They are the best representation of mankind, flawless in complexion as well as countenance.

 

 

Okay,  look at me. Handsome and charming, engaging the ladies with my superior wit and wisdom.

 

Now look at Oliver, repelling those around him with his alcohol addiction.

Oliver is far from perfect. He is overweight and out of shape, and you can see the small beer belly hugging his unfashionable attire. This belly demonstrates that, rather than using his energies to train physically and mentally for world domination, he dedicates his time to drinking excessive amounts of commoner fluids such as beer and Coca Cola. If I were of the propensity to become, as the youth say, 'squiffy', I would go for a nice 1812 Cognac, and sip it whilst watching my electronic Dow Jones graph fluctuate on daddy's iPad.

9. He is too idiosyncratic
Oliver is a strange human being. For someone with a degree of intellect that is a little above average compared to others of the same poverty, he does not use it. He puts his energies into being overly outgoing and makes far too many terrible jokes. He does not concentrate, and he is not skilled in anything in particular. I would say he is a jack of all trades, but he would be just awful as a carpenter or blacksmith, so he cannot work within his own antiquated social class. His only option is to go corporate, but he is too much of a maverick in his views (no banker bonuses - tut tut) to be able to fit in. Indeed, PwC ask for someone who does and sees things differently, but as any businessman would know, they are not. They are looking for someone to mould into their culture, and Oliver just is not malleable enough.

Finally, number 10: He is on his blog instead of actually preparing for the interview! 

I would sign off with 'rant over' as Oliver does, but I find that line absurd, because he does not often actually rant.

Anyway, this should teach him not to leave his Blogger on. I shall now depart for a conference with Goldman Sachs.

Ciao, plebeians!

Employable Ollie

GEJA Day 6 - Anschluss!

It’s another dreaded night train. A long wait in the cold after the station services close for a sleepless night in a compartment with total strangers. Where am I now? On a train to Budapest, Hungary from Salzburg in Austria. Wait, what?! Last time you heard from me I was in Germany. I need to fill you in don’t I.

The night in Munich was rather eventful. After navigating a drunken Itzel and tipsy Simon back to the hostel (a bottle of wine each at Karolina’s) reminding them to be quiet as we entered the hostel room because last night, for the first time, we had a stranger in the room with us in a dormitory of 4. We had locked our computers and taken our passports and Global Passes with us just to be safe, but it turned out he probably had more to fear from us! Sitzel burst into the room and turned the light on, wondering loudly if the stranger was there. A rustle and groan from the top bunk answered their question. After making sure the lights were off so the poor bastard could sleep, it wasn’t long before we were all passed out.

After waiting for the nerdy stranger to finish showering and parading around the room in his underwear and leave us in peace the next morning, we got dressed, checked out and headed to the BMW Headquarters, the part that is open to the public. It is called BMW Welt, and it was a great experience!

Now, we were both pleased and surprised to find out that admission to BMW Welt was free, but as soon as I got there I knew why. It was all one big advertising stunt – but a damn good one! It was a beautifully designed interior, showcasing the range of BMW models, and much more. You could see the full range of chassis colours and interior designs, try out the Connected Drive system, as well as learn about the hydrogen fuel process through interactive games. Of course you can also request to test drive BMW cars, but I’ll wait until I can afford to buy one before doing that! However, I definitely left the place more inclined to buy one in the future if I earn enough money. I always knew I’m going to choose a German car, so it wasn’t much of a turning point in my life, but it was great fun!

We quickly checked out the Olympic arena (or what we could see of it) before heading to the train to Salzburg, Austria for country no 3, and the next phase of our great trip.

The sun had already set by the time we arrived (about 5) and Itzel and I barely managed to check out the Mozart museum before it closed. There are two buildings dedicated to the famous composer in this city: the museum we went to, which was at the house where he lived from 1773 – 1789, and the other house, which was where he was born in 1756 and unfortunately we could only see that house, not enter it, as it was a Sunday evening in January, and not much was open.

My brother, Sam, had visited Salzburg a few years ago, and I remember he recommended that I visit the ice caves there, should I ever go. I enquired about the caves, but again visiting in January proved to be a disadvantage. We weren’t too fazed though. After another Wi-Fi session in McDonalds, we went for a meal at the Sternbrau, a restaurant which was established in 1542, with the intention of trying authentic Austrian food. While Simon opted for the goulash, Itzel and I tasted veal schnitzel with parsley potatoes. It wasn’t cheap, but it was delectable! I accompanied this with some Kaiser beer, a local brew.

After that, we decided to go to a bar to pass time before the night train. We looked on the map that the lady at the tourist info desk at the station had given us, and we found that there was a bar that was once a monastery. What?! We can drink at a monastery?! That would actually be LEGENDARY! That would definitely be one to tell the kids. “Hey Hayley Hermione and Norbert Dentrassangle, did I tell you daddy once drank beer at a monastery?” Wow…..

So we began our pilgrimage for the local beer hall, and found it up a hill. What an experience this was! We walked down a stone hallway akin to some of those we had seen in the religious areas of Italy and the Vatican. There were statues, stone walls and marble floors, and then a kebab shop on the right hand side….. Okay.

And then we saw it: shelves upon shelves of stone mugs, and a few people in yellow t-shirts flanking desks and an old-fashioned bar with a big barrel. We paid only €2,90 for a half-litre of this local brew, Augustinerbrau, had it poured into the mug and slid across the bar retro-style, and drank it in a large hall, surrounded by crucifixes and pictures of Jesus. Apparently in the early 17^th Century the monks of this monastery had started brewing the beer, so it’s okay religious people! We weren’t breaking any rules, just being at an amazing beer hall with much older people drinking the delicious blonde brew whilst having a cigarette (there’s no smoking ban in Austria. For the first time in years, I was asked ‘smoking or non-smoking area sir?’ at the Sternbrau!), and what a time it was!

On the way back down, we took a diversion and ended up seeing a view to rival that of the Forum Romanium. Again my shitty camera couldn’t capture what I tried to make my eyes capture, but it was stunning! I could see the mountains proudly haunting the distance, a castle on the right hand side guarding the valley, the spires of various churches beamed in their eerie artificial light, the lit bridges that glided over the smooth Salzach river, which hummed its way downstream. Again, I wanted to be up there for much longer than I was. It was a beautiful view of a beautiful city.

We finished with a night-time stroll around the city, seeing the cathedral from the outside, as well as a statue of Mozart, before making our way back on foot to the train station. The Austrians we met weren’t as helpful as their German counterparts, but damn don't they live somewhere beautiful! We managed to find a kebab place near the train station to wait for the train that should take us to Budapest. We passed the time with an episode of How I Met Your Mother or two.

But now, on the night train, I am a lot more comfortable. There’s an extremely intelligent German businessman in the compartment with us, and his optimism and interest in our trip has made it all the more fun. He has even given me his details! Networking through interrailing – never thought it would happen like THAT!

So I’m waiting for Hungary. Am I nervous? A little. I know little of this country and its economic and political situation. It could be poor and horrible, or wonderfully wealthy. Only tomorrow will tell.

For now, gute nacht!

Rant over

Ollie

GEJA Day 5 – New country, Old(ish) friend.

Hallo everyone! Ich suis yn Deutschland, and clearly I don’t remember much German from last night. All it seemed to do is jumble the different languages in my head, after trying to cram some Italian in my system as well. But luckily, it doesn’t matter, because the Germans, as I knew already, speak English beautifully. I guess English is mostly a Germanic language with a touch of Latin to make it easier to learn French, Italian and Spanish for the small minority of English-speakers who can be arsed to try another language.

As well as being excellent linguists, the many Bavarians we’ve met were happy to help (Simon has a relentless propensity for asking directions) and we quickly felt at home. The hostel was pretty suite (geddit) too. Well, the room itself is meh, but it has good facilities and helpful staff, and it’s near a Lidl so we could finally get some cheap snacks. We stayed at the hostel for a couple of hours for a siesta and to sort out some nitty gritty things such as our ferry to Helsinki next week, before leaving to see the city.

The city itself is grand, but in a different way from Italy. We visited the main cathedral, but compared to the glorious San Marco, Duomo and Vaticano it was horribly mediocre. Italy was the home of glorious churches, and I would have been very surprised if Germany could match it.

However, where Munich has impressed is in its extremely efficient metro system and markets. The city centre is a picturesque mix of modern stores and century-old buildings. This is most evident in the Marienplatz. We spent the afternoon with a tourist map and suggested things to see, and we tracked them down. The Munich Residence, the Pinakothek museums and the Italian market (although I was far more impressed by the Haagen Daaz ice cream parlour! What a beauty!).

For the evening we were kindly invited over for dinner by a friend of mine from Warwick. Karolina is spending her year abroad here, and I can now say she’s very lucky! Her flat was modern and chic, with a state-of-the-art kitchen and 7 large bedrooms, and her friends were very friendly as well. One was from Milan, where we have just been, and one was from Helsinki, where we are going, so there were some very interesting conversations on those topics!

Karolina welcomed my travel companions like she knew them already and we enjoyed a delicious pasta concoction of hers accompanied by a few bottles of wine. It was great catching up with Karolina and Sitzel (as I now call them collectively) really enjoyed themselves as well. It was also a welcome change from the usual rushing around the city to see the sights, almost like being back in Rennes.

So danke schön Karolina! Was lovely seeing you again! All the best in Deutschland!

Tomorrow, we will see a couple of things we didn’t get to see today, namely BMV Welt and the Olympic Arena for the 1972 games. Then it’s off to another new country, to see Salzburg in Austria! Great times!

Schwadronieren vorbei

Ollie

GEJA DAY 4: A tale of two cities

I’m sat very uncomfortably on a night train wondering how the hell am I going to get some sleep tonight as we are making our way to Munich and the first time any of us has been to Germany.  The seats are poised perfectly straight and have no inclination to relax and recline (I guess they’re German-made) and while Simon is lying across two seats and Itzel is small enough to curl into one, my only options were either to put my feet on Simon’s face or lean to the right, and the passenger on my right is leaning left rather than by the window, selfish bastard! I successfully (somehow) dosed off, only to be woken at 3am by the inconsiderate shite that asked for my ticket and ruined any hope of rest and recuperation tonight.

Through the window the land is brighter than the sky, the Austrian Alps are covered in deeper snow than I have ever seen in my life. Such natural beauty reminds me of what I’m doing and how new and exciting this all is for me. This trip will see a lot of firsts and superlatives, but today was not so much one of those days, as we spent our last day in Italy checking out Milan and Verona.

Arriving in Milan about midday, we scoured the area for somewhere to leave lost luggage. There would be no hostel tonight, only a train journey, which I can tell you right now is leaving me pining for a hostel, or even a normal train! Anyway, after paying a small fortune to leave our luggage (it was a fiver, but I’m talking relative to value here) we headed to the Piazza del Duomo to see what was, simply, the most badass church I’ve seen (okay that was a superlative, touché). Despite being pearly white, I could imagine it being painted black and becoming a lair for a maleficent villain from a Disney film.

I wasn’t expecting much with the churches. I had already seen Basilica Vaticano in Rome and the Basilica del San Marco in Venice and was blown away, but this one, with its 13^th-15^th Century Gothic architecture (I think, don’t quote me) was probably my favourite of all the churches I saw in Italy. Yes, the Vatican was phenomenal in terms of size and heritage, and the Basilica del San Marco was also rather gargantuan with its prodigious mosaic (I’m still wondering how on earth they did that!), but I guess it was the style of the Duomo that won me over.

The interior was also beautiful. Despite being smaller than the Basilicas it was still grand, with very high ceilings. January 6^th also happened to be Epiphany, which the Italians celebrate with witches that reward good behaviour and….. recruit the bad ones? Anyway, there was a mass taking place at the time, adding to the grandiose ambience. I had never seen a Catholic service before. There seems to be a lot more singing and far fewer repetitive lectures than in Anglican services.

After leaving the castle we went to check out the shopping centre just off the Piazza del Duomo. No, we didn’t go shopping – we’re living out of 2 bags for 3 weeks! Plus there was no way I could afford half the items I could see. This was Milan after all, fashion capital of Italy if not the world. The gargoyles on the domed ceiling were watching over Gucci, Giorgio Armani, Louis Vuitton, Prada… and Mercedes-Benz! Apparently the German car manufacturer sells premium clothing in Milan. Okay……

Castello Sforzesco was next on our agenda. After walking through a high street laden with flags of various countries, trying in vain to guess what countries they belonged to (they were for well-known world powers such as Gabon), we arrived at the peculiar fortress. While I was expecting something that would look more traditional, like Caerphilly Castle near my home in Wales, this castle was…well….red! It looked rather modern, like a state home rather than a castle. But it was still marvellous to behold!

We entered the courtyard and enjoyed the view of the statues and battlements. After relaxing in the sunny garden for a few minutes, we enquired about the admission fee. Luckily because it was Epiphany, there was none, and we entered with gusto to see what we thought would be some awesome sights. A keep. A museum detailing historical battles. A view of Milan from a sentry tower. No, this is what we saw.

After a few minutes admiring the porcelain and musical instruments (obviously my interest was more with the latter, but there’s only so many violins you can look at) we decided to head for one more beautiful Piazza (standard Italian city stuff) before catching the train to Verona to check out the Roman Arena and Juliet’s house before a night train to Germany.

Unfortunately, when we arrived in Verona, we were too late. Contrary to what my Guide to Europe had told me, the Arena wasn’t open until half past 7, and our only hope of entering was to watch a Nativity play in Italian. No grazie! Denied entry to both Roman arenas, we made our way to Juliet’s house.

I knew roughly which way to go because this was and should be the only city on the trip that I have previously visited. When I was 17, my school choir went for a tour in Lake Garda and the surrounding area, and we had seen the Arena, and how wondrous the view was from the top row. I had also visited the fictional setting of one of the world’s most famous plays and stood upon that balcony. But this time, it wasn’t to be. The Arena wasn’t nearly as impressive as it was four years ago. That might have had something to do with seeing the Colosseum two days previously…

And Juliet’s house was also closed early. Maybe it was due to the Epiphany Bank Holiday. I would have taken the Verona arena over a free visit to see porcelain any day, but oh well. My companions could still see the balcony from the gate, as well as the alley that was covered in messages of love. I took a few photos myself, but my camera sucks at taking night photos (which I feel may be very useful indeed during this trip), so they are either blurry or too dark.

We finished our stay in Italy with delectable pizzas in the main Piazza near the house of Juliet before making our way to the train station for what has proved to be a very uncomfortable night. We passed the two-hour wait between everything closing and the train’s departure watching South Park in the station, on Itzel’s laptop balanced on my bag. We looked like bourgeois hobos!

And now we are here, and the mountains look stunning outside. I would wake Simon up to let him see them, as he has never seen snow, but I don’t want him to not sleep for the sake of seeing snow that he cannot actually walk on and enjoy. It was all there for you to see, but you know you can’t really use and enjoy it, basically like a stripper….

Anyway, I’m going to try and go over the German course I have on my iPod and see if I can retain any new words to use in Munich when we get there. Germany – the first of many countries that I shall visit for the very first time.

Arrivederci Italia! Grazie mille!

Rant over

Ollie

GEJA Day 3: Losing ourselves in Venice

After getting up really early (6:30!) to use our Interrail passes for the first time, we had a snooze on the 4 hour train journey and arrived in Venice just before midday. First thing I noticed? It was really cold! I didn't realise it until checking the map just now, but Venice is pretty far north in Italy, and a fair bit more so than Rome, which had been very mild in temperature.

Our first impression of Venice, walking to the hostel and seeing the main canal, was that it was a crappy overrated version of Amsterdam. But as the day went by, and we saw what Venice has to offer, we were proven wrong indeed! Amsterdam, whilst having tranquil canals flanked by beautifully uniform and modern-looking buildings, compared to the more quintessentially old-fashioned and tacky design of those in Venice, lacked the amazing churches and atmosphere that Venice really has.

After checking in at the hostel where I am writing this now, we decided to go for a walk, to learn about Venice by getting lost in there. Now I'm usually up for a bit of adventure. I've purposefully gotten myself lost in Rennes just so I'd learn my way around better, and I like the challenge! But that was different because a) I could speak the language to a decent enough extent if I needed help and b) I didn't walk for hours on end, killing my feet, back and willingness to live in the process. Venice, however, was different, and after a couple of hours of wandering seemingly aimlessly and Simon and Itzel asking people for directions to different Piazzas that I would only confuse with each other, I began to get impatient.

However, after a brief stint of conscientious objection from further part in this painful and seemingly pointless wander, I caved in (I was being impatient to be fair) and not long after we found what Sitzel was looking for: a stunning church (Basilica de Santa Maria) enshrouding the main canal nearby. After exploring this beautiful place, and more painful exploration, we found the great landmark of Venice (apparently): the Basilica del San Marco. And what a sight it was! On the inside it presented a slight rivalry to St Peter's' in the Vatican, with the largest mosaic I have ever seen, whilst the exterior looked more like the kind of building you'd see in Kiev than in Italy. The Piazza was stunning as well, surrounded by old Napoleonic walls and including a monumental bell tower that had been an integral part of Venetian heritage for centuries.

We finished the day by finding somewhere to grab a bite for dinner (burger and chips, as you do in Venice)  and took a bus back to the hostel. But this was no ordinary bus. It was a boat metro line, going across the canal, and we were able to sit at the bow and savour the trip back to our hostel, which fortunately was a long one! That is what sets Venice apart from other cities. There are no cars or buses, or even bikes! Only boats to get around. Instead of a Opel Corsa, a Venetian simply owns a Yamaha boat. This for me was crazy and unheard of, and when you're there, in the city that looks as if it was flooded, it really is a sight to behold!

So another long but fulfilling day has passed. Tomorrow we will spend our last day in Italy with a trip to Milan. However, after discussing Verona with Itzel and Simon, and due to the apparent lack of interesting sights in Milan compared to that of Rome, we have decided to leave Milan early, and as Verona is where we would change for Munich anyway tomorrow night, we may as well spend our time in Verona and check out the Roman Arena and the house of Juilet!

Anyway, I'm shattered right now and it's a big day ahead tomorrow! Pictures will be up when we get unshit Internet. Ciao!

Rant over
Ollie

GEJA Day 2: Hiccups and the Vatican

The second day, and already things haven't gone quite to plan.

As we went to the ticket office this morning to reserve the night train to Venice for this evening, we were told that the train was full. The unhelpful bastard of a ticket salesman rep guy then declared we could not reserve Friday night's night train from Milan because we weren't actually there. Determined not to believe that we would have to rely on last minute bookings for night trains, which would basically mean a hostel every single night, which would basically mean that three of us would return to Rennes in 3 weeks each having a debt larger than that of an average Greek, we sorted out the whole situation and booked our tickets up to Munich on Saturday, so that is now confirmed!

So tonight I am writing this blog in a different hostel just down the road in Rome, which is far more comfortable than the one we had yesterday! The little cock-up was probably a blessing in disguise, as we got to see more of the illustrious city,  and most importantly, at night when it looked most beautiful.

The day was spent mostly at the Vatican (that's country no 6 for Ollie!) and included the standard trips to the museum to see the Sistine chapel and Basilica Vaticano. What I wasn't expecting at the Vatican museum was to see room upon room of glorious art before I even laid eyes on Michelangelo's iconic creation of Adam painting at the highest point of the Chapel. I know very little about art, so all I could say about the various paintings and tapestries are that they are amazingly well done with such incredible detail. What was most impressive, however, was that every single room was covered in these paintings, and there were so many it was impossible to properly scrutinise each individual piece in one visit.

Michelangelo's work in the Sistine Chapel was incredible because there was so much, but it did not stand out as much as I thought it would, simply because there was so much art beforehand (and after, and by then our feet were hurting and we cursed all those artists who had painted those unnecessary works of art. We've seen the Sistine Chapel - we're done thank you!!!).

Basilica Vaticano was, simply, the best church I've seen! It was incredible - both on the outside and the inside. The outside has a powerful stance as the gigantic temple that can be seen from miles away, that guards the entrance to the Vatican city itself. Decorated with Latin writing and many different statues, one of which would be enough to draw a crowd in a place like Cardiff, but in the Vatican is merely an accessory, the Basilica stands colossal and proud over the grand Piazza.

On the inside, it was just epic! Covered in various paintings and sculptures depicting war and other Bible stuff, and towering above the hundreds of people in the church, making us all feel so small and insignificant. How could people actually make wonderful things like this? Especially in the 13th-15th centuries, long before cranes and JCBs. Standing in the church, looking at the high ceilings, the centuries of heritage, the tombs of past Popes that had been sainted, I actually briefly considered forming a committee to discuss over (several years) the possibility that I should further consider becoming a little bit religious!

But then I came back to my senses as we re-entered Italy and headed to the Colosseum. Unfortunately, we had another hiccup as the Colosseum closed really early and we did not know, so Itzel and I didn't manage to see the inside (Simon did though, having stayed in Rome for over 2 weeks, the lucky bastard!), but it didn't matter - we still saw the outside, and what a sight it is!

In the evening, after resting in the hostel for a little while to help our tired feet recover, we went for dinner (diavolo pizza and arrabbiata pasta - when in Rome!) and then saw the city at night again, this time with Itzel too. This, for me, was the highlight of the day. After walking past my new-found love, which I found out was called Altar de la Patria, we walked up a flight of steps flanked by angels, saw another magnificient old building (It's become standard for us in Rome), and turned into an alley.

And then we saw it. A ledge that overlooked what was for me the best part of the trip so far - a view of the ancient Forum Romanium, remains of what would have been a grand centre of the Roman Empire. There were two Arc de Triomphes in sight (well, they were arcs that the Romans would build for every victory), and in the back, with the light bouncing off, the Colosseum. And it was silent. Just silent. All we could hear was the soft hum of traffic a few miles away, and we had a view of something that was just remarkable. I could have stayed there for hours.

But the others couldn't, so we went for an ice cream in the Piazza della Rotonda, governed by the majestic Pantheon. To finish the evening we visited the Trevi Fountain. As a fan of water and water features, I loved this place! It was right in the city centre too! You go to buy a new shirt from Jack Jones, celebrate with a Maccy Ds and then turn a corner and BOOM you've arrived at a massive water feature that is centuries old. I made a wish in the fountain (that was one hell of a wishing well!) and listened to the water gush down from the large marble basins and glance past the statues.

So we returned to the hostel satisfied. Rome wasn't built in a day, but it was definitely seen in one!

Next stop - Venice!

Rant over
Ollie

p.s. will have to publish photos soon because the wi-fi connection in this hostel sucks!

GEJA DAY 1: When in Rome.

Buonasera from Rome, Italy!

I'm sat in a hostel common room scrounging free Wi-fi to keep my promise to update you on the trip throughout! Although it probably won't be every day (we'll be taking a night train to Venice tomorrow night, for example), it's important I blog as I go because I know that if today was anything to go by, a LOT is going to happen and i won't be able to remember it all! 

So this morning I bade goodbye to my family and took the train to Bristol to catch the flight to Rome. On arrival, after a long session of walking backwards and forwards to find the correct bus (as I was being told different things by different Italians), I finally met up with Simon at Termini station. The poor guy was waiting for me for an hour (my plane was an hour late - bloody annoying as i had to rush my Burger King to make the gate) and when I asked him why he didn't have his phone on him, he said he did, but didn't want to use it unless it was important. We were meeting up from different countries ffs! Surely one text wouldn't totally break the bank! But at least we met up, and then after several hours exploring the glorious city at night, we returned to the station to meet Itzel.

Before I talk about where we went tonight, I must say I'm very happy with the hostel. For 11€ a night, it's not that shit! Although I haven't tried to sleep yet... Unlike the Italians at Roma Fiumicino airport, who were even more rude than the French, the people here are very helpful. So yeah, I learned a valuable lesson today: hostels aren't ALL bad! 

I also learned to trust Simon's sense of direction more, because I'd been used to him having the bearings of a goldfish in an oil slick. But in Rome, where he stayed for Christmas, he actually knows his way around, and he's picked up the language rather well (as he studies in English after learning it for one year, this didn't surprise me - he's a linguistic genius!). Due to his surprisingly adroit navigation, we got to see several Piazzas (Simon I'll need you to add the names in a comment or something, because to me they were all Italian blah blah), the Pantheon and of course, the Colosseum, all at night. And how beautiful the buildings are! My jaw dropped as I would walk down a seemingly normal street with a Zara and a McDonalds and around the corner was this colossal medieval architectural masterpiece, and this happened several times!

As you could guess though, I'm shattered, and I know that even if I tried to describe the majesty of some of these buildings, no words in my vocabulary could do them justice. So here's some photos! Simon however has taken better photos, one of which was of me pulling a pose on top of a fancy-looking building, imitating the statues. According to the policeman, it was the Italian Parliament building...... I'll upload this and the others after we return to Rennes.

Tomorrow? The three of us will explore the city in more depth. We will enter the Pantheon and Colosseum, as well as go to the Vatican city (we have a date with Michelangelo) and the magnificent Trevi Fountain. Is it a bit ambitious? Earlier, I would have said no, but Simon and I saw an awful lot in a couple of hours this evening, so I'm pretty hopeful now!

Buonanotte tutti! 

Declamazione oltre

Ollie

The old meets the new. This is true in France, but it's another level in Rome!

Even the Christmas lights are quintessentially Italian!

Dunno what this building is, but it looks AWESOME

(Crappy camera) view of Rome and the Vatican from the highest point of la Piazza del Espagne

Just one of the displays inside the cathedral at the top of la Piazza del Espagne

The Pantheon - it's well lush!

One of the piazzas. Incredible Roman architecture and structures!

Gepetto's toy store (I think)

This building was my favourite, near the Colosseum. Dunno what it's called though :P

And it had a Christmas tree too!!!

My crappy camera can't handle the awesomeness of the Colosseum!

Vingt cent douze and exciting news

Hello HAPPY NEW YEAR! This is just a quick update (let's see if I can do those) to kick-start my 2012 blogging. I hope everyone had a great new year. Mine was spent in Bristol with some friends from school, and now I've parted ways with all my Welsh friends after a very brief stint at home because tomorrow - IT IS HAPPENING!!!

You know the classic jokes right? Those "there was a Welshman, a Mexican and an Ecuadorian...." jokes? Well it's actually happening! Tomorrow (well, technically today) I, along with my good friends Itzel and Simon, will be spending the next three weeks conquering Europe. From Rome to Rennes, with a couple of detours en route, the three of us are going to go sightseeing, try local cuisine, and probably make a fool of ourselves as we attempt the various native languages. And I'll be blogging it as often as I can get Wi-Fi for you guys to follow!

The (albeit still provisional) route is: Start at Rome. Go to Venice, then Milan, then travel through Switzerland to Munich in Germany. After a day of Bavarian fun, we will progress Sound of Music style into Austria (except we'll be on a train, not climbing every mountain, fording every stream...) to see Salzburg, and then Vienna. After that? Budapest, in Hungary (because we can!) and then Prague, Czech Republic (we may sneak in a stay at Bratislava, Slovakia too depending on timing.) After Prague it's back into ze Deutschland to check out Berlin, and then hang out with the Hamburgers.

After Hamburg? We begin the journey to our ultimate destination, crossing three Nordic lands and checking out the cities of Copenhagen and Stockholm, to reach our Finnish friends in Helsinki for a wintery weunion and appalling alliteration. After a cruise back (yes kids, a cruise!) to Stockholm, we begin our journey back to Rennes to start semester II, calling in on a little country called Belgium on the way (and maybe Luxembourg too, depending on the amount of time left).

So as you can see, it's going to be nuts! I've packed my bag and have no idea how I'm going to be able to keep packing and unpacking it! It's going to be three weeks of amazing experiences, epic sleep deprivation, hostels and the occasional train to get us everywhere. It is set to be the best January of my life, and I cannot think of a better way to continue the high with which Rennes finished 2011 off.

Yes guys 2012 is here, and while the Mayans believed we're all going to die on December 21st this year, it's only because they can't count beyond 2012. If those fuckers had gone to school, we wouldn't have this 'fear'. I put the word 'fear' in inverted commas of course, because the Hobbit film comes out a week before on the 14th, so we certainly won't miss that! Whew!

So bring on 2012! I don't know if you guys feel the same, but I really feel this is the year that will define me (probably as a complete loser but hey). Before I am once again confined within the bubble that is Warwick University this October, I aim to make the most of my exchange placement and summer, becoming fluent in French and hopefully gaining an internship this summer. So unsurprisingly, my New Year's Resolutions are:

1) Gain fluency in French. Become bilingual once and for all!
2) Make the most of my summer (internship/summer job/world domination)
3) Banish my beer belly from all existance! (Okay that one wasn't that obvious for me, and a little generic. But yeah, we got Wii Fit for Christmas, and I found out that I'm technically overweight. Thanks talking balance board for the ego boost...... you little c***).

What are your resolutions for the New Year? Why not comment below? (I'll set up proper blog tools for sharing ideas when I can be arsed). It's always a time to muse upon your life isn't it! If you think you won't achieve anything you set out to....DON'T! Make your goals realistic and achievable so that you can see 2012 as an important year in the development of your confidence or happiness or whatever! But give it a go! I did it last year (see a new country) and it worked! It made me want to seize the opportunity!

In fact, I'm going to add a fourth New Year's Resolution (nothing wrong with a few resolutions........okay I'm a perfectionist alright?!):

4) NEVER say the words "I'm bored". Boredom means you are wasting the precious waking moments of your life. Boredom means you are waiting for life to happen to you rather than going out and seizing the day yourself. Boredom means you don't want to see, learn, or try anything new, and that would make one's life REALLY boring!

Anyway, those are my goals for 2012. Also, I saw this picture last month and I'm going to show it here, because it shows the 'creed' that I want to live my life by from this year forward.

Yep, it's cheesy, and what I wrote tonight probably didn't make sense (or wasn't as short as I had hoped). But it's 2am, I'm getting up in 4 hours to start my three week adventure, and I don't give a shit!

But check out that poster. Hopefully it will inspire you like it has inspired me. Happy new year, and may 2012 bring you health and happiness!

Happy 2012! Next stop - Rome!

Half-asleep rant over

Ollie