2013 and the year that's been.

I'm sat in my room alone, about to see out the year with only my parents for company, but I don't mind. I'm sick of the disappointing and overpriced nights out that New Year's Eve usually entails, and it's a refreshing change to be spending it with the two most important people in my life.

Before I join them, however, I believe New Year is a time to reflect upon what has been and to look forward to the immediate future, and for me this has never been more important than tonight.

2012, the best year of my life, has come to an end.


The year that's been.

At the Atomium, Brussels, with my Latino companions

It started immediately with a trip unlike any other. Together with two dear Latin Americans, I traveled across 12 countries in the space of three weeks, seeing the sights, tasting the local cuisine and attempting the languages (horrifically in most cases). It was an incredible adventure and a sign of things to come for this important year.

Me with my special lady

Then came the bulk of my year abroad. I lived in, what was for me, the closest thing to utopia. People from all over the world gathered in the quaint French city of Rennes, paradoxically united by their differences. It took a while for me to adjust to the second semester, as I was dearly missing people from its predecessor, but then I met some amazing new people as well, including a certain beautiful, sweet and kind señorita who would be the most important part of my 2012...

During my semester I also learned an important lesson - that I actually do stand a chance with the big shot employers! I was extremely close to an internship on several occasions with some of the most competitive companies. This has given me the confidence that, if and when the time comes for me to get a proper 'grown-up' job, I'm not completely fucked! Woohoo!

2012 also saw Wales get the Grand Slam, and I enjoyed actually having bragging rights for once among my English peers instead of the usual submission to constant jokes about lust for sheep. We also had our revenge for the World Cup howler against France, and I made sure to flaunt my Welsh jersey the following week or five. Oh, how wonderful that was! I probably should have washed it a bit though....

A beautiful sight we probably won't get next year...

The semester came and went. The exams went well - better than I had ever done at Warwick. It's a shame they counted as much towards my degree as the copious amounts of beer that I drank that year. Then followed the Admissibles period, which was, quite simply, the best time of my life.

I met some incredible people during that period of time who I had not hung out with during the terms. I got paid to play Mario Kart and practise my French, and every day was an intercultural celebration. Best of all, I befriended French people and was asked to perform in their show! My French was the best it had ever been, and my dad even called me fluent! I really am not, but for the sake of my CV, let's say: bilingualism - DONE!

As well as a massive improvement in French, I started to learn the beautiful language that is Spanish, and after six months I'm already pretty confident I can become trilingual in 2013! Maybe that's a bit audacious, but I think I've learned how to learn languages. Now I just need to do the same for business....

James and Pistorius

Upon returning home from the year abroad, the second half of 2012 began, and my summer was dominated by the Olympics and Paralympics, and I was never so proud to be British. The organisation was incredible, the athletes were amazing, the coverage was thorough and our nation really came together this summer, something that we really needed during these shitty economic times! My personal highlights included the obvious 'Super Saturday' and Usain Bolt (and his banter with James Blake), but there was more. Peter Wilson's gold medal in the double trap shooting event was one of my favourites because, apart from him being a pleasant and funny guy, his reaction to seeing his dad for the first time after becoming Olympic Champion was wonderful. I also loved when the would-be 400m champion Kirani James from Grenada asked to swap name tags with Oscar Pistorius in their heat, as Pistorius qualified for the Paralympics AND the Olympics, linking the two games.

Zanardi - a phenomenal man

The Paralympics were even better. David Weir, Jonnie Peacock, Sarah Storey, Ellie Simmonds, Hannah Cockroft, Aled Davies, Lee Pearson... just a few British names among so many incredible athletes who helped redefine the world's perception of disability through their incredible superhuman achievements and determination. My favourite moment was when Alex Zanardi of Italy took the handbike Gold on a track where he used to compete as a Formula One racing driver, before losing his legs in a tragic car accident. The Olympics and Paralympics, as well as Andy Murray's US Open win, made my summer.

My semester back at Warwick was much less eventful, mostly comprising of my attempts to readjust to normal British life at university and to apply myself for the final push. There have been some lows this second half to match the highs of the first, as I have tried to suppress my wanderlust and nostalgia with the necessary final year work ethic. Not to mention the rugby, with Wales losing all four matches while the English achieved their biggest ever victory over an All Blacks side that is arguably the best the world has ever seen. If only the New Zealanders had all caught that stomach bug a week earlier......

The second half of 2012 has had its moments though. I got a job teaching English online for a French company, and it's the best student job I could have asked for. Great money, plays to my strengths (for once) and I don't have to leave my room to do it! I'm continuing with this into 2013 to save up money for my post-graduation travels. I also met some cool people this semester in Warwick, despite my best attempts to be unsociable!

Finally, it has been a wonderful Christmas back in Wales, far better than last year's. For starters, we weren't all ill this time, and we enjoyed the best meals my parents have ever prepared. It was great to spend some quality time with the family and actually relax, for the first time since October.


Still to come in the Life of Ollie, 2013....

My longing for travel lives on...

Indeed 2012 has set the bar high, but I plan to clear it. I have already completed my most difficult semester at Warwick, and now I need to see off my degree. Then I will be free to travel and make an exciting life for myself. Most importantly, I will travel further than I have ever done before to see the special girl with whom I have only been able to communicate over a computer (or smartphone if you want to be pedantic!) since July.  This alone makes 2013 extremely exciting for me.

I had set New Year's Resolutions last year on my blog. I had achieved bilingualism (sort of), gotten an internship (sort of) and lost weight (but put most of it back on) - so not a bad performance! However, this year I will set myself two main resolutions I will make sure I can achieve and then a couple more general resolutions that I may or may not achieve:

For 2013 I will:

1) Graduate from Warwick University with a 2:1 degree or higher.
2) Travel to Mexico.

Monterrey, Mexico - where I shall go.

I shall also attempt the following:

1) Become a much more experienced writer.
2) Become fluent in Spanish, and consolidate my French.
3) Be more positive in my last few months as a university student.

The first two are definites - I must achieve them, and I will make sure I do. As for the other resolutions, I would like to achieve these in order to feel better about myself. The first is to become a much more experienced writer. One autobiographical blog is not enough - I'd like to write and perform songs at university. I would also like to have articles printed in student magazines/newspapers (as a start), after failing at my first attempt.

I shall also be launching a new blog in the new year. Something for which I am very excited, as it will challenge me more than anything else. More details to follow shortly...

We'll meet again, French...

The challenge to become fluent in three languages is very audacious, but I feel that I have the passion and determination to achieve it. Apart from the need to improve my Spanish for the university exam, I shall be focusing on this one more after I have graduated, with a DELF exam in French and the equivalent in Spanish.

But before I graduate, I need to focus on improving my attitude to university life. A brilliant person told me that if I continue to tell myself that I am 'depressed' with Post-Erasmus nostalgia, then I shall actually become depressed. It will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. I need to change my attitude. I am not depressed. Yes I miss my girlfriend and Erasmus life, but I need to accept that I'm stuck at Warwick until the summer.

For now, I can enjoy the opportunities life at Warwick offers me by organising and participating in BandSoc's Battle of the Bands competition, writing my new blog and other articles, and by giving my all to my studies while I still can.

I hope that 2013 will bring me more happiness as I am launched from the safe environs of education into the real world. I also hope that you, the reader, will be healthy and happy throughout the next year - especially after your incredible patience to read this lengthy update!

I just want to thank all the people who contributed to make my year what it has been. My family and friends, both from Rennes and in Warwick for putting up with me. Most of all, I want to thank my beautiful girlfriend for coming into my life and making the impact she has. Just a bit longer and I'll be with you again...

Finishing this New Year's update in the same vein as I did at the beginning of 2012, I shall post my favourite picture to remind myself, and maybe you too, what is really important. Happy New Year to you all.

Rant over
Ollie

The Next Thing - coming soon

Does Post-Erasmus Depression Syndrome exist?

Hey my fictional fans! I'm finally home from a semester at Warwick that can best be described as "meh". I don't want to set a tone that's TOO pessimistic: it didn't have quite the hopelessness that encompassed my second year, but that is mostly because this time I can see the light at the end of the long and winding tunnel that is my business degree.

I really wanted to update the blog this term. I had actually written about 5 or 6 drafts! I couldn't bring myself to do it though, because I knew there would only be one recurring theme about my life - the anti-climax it had become. After a year of constant excitement and self-discovery, life back at the same place where you had spent the preceding two years would inevitably not be as fulfilling. I didn't want to post constantly miserable updates throughout the semester so I'm just going to pop the one up now. Merry Christmas everyone!

If the four years of my degree were like a movie in the cinema, then last year would have been the awesome climactic part where things start to go right and then there's a happy ending. Think the battle of the Black Gate in Lord of the Rings or something. It's the really exciting part, and then BAM - Ring destroyed, Sauron gone, lots of crying elves, woohoo.

My fourth year feels like the credits are rolling (not the cast part, but at the end when you find out who was the assistant to the gaffer in the electrical development of a special effect that was deleted from the final cut) and the usher is whacking me with a mop telling me to get the fuck out already because I'm overstaying and he needs to get the next lot of movie fans in, who incidentally are paying triple the cost for their ticket for the exact same film.

This term was as exciting as a documentary about twigs, and it's mostly my fault.

People, like this guy below, talk about Post-Erasmus Depression Syndrome as a common after-effect of Erasmus. I think it's safe to say that this state of mind exists, and I'm a 'sufferer'.

Regression

My Erasmus year in Rennes taught me many things: to be positive, to seize every opportunity, to pursue your passion. However, when I was back in the familiar environs of the two years before, I can't help but think what I was like there during that time, and I fear that I have relapsed to that state.

In terms of my personal development, it may be safe to say that those first two years at university were the 'Dark Ages'. Year 1 is partly vindicated by the fact that I learned how to live independently, but apart from that it was a backwards step, and by the end of my second year I had gone from this high-achieving school leaver who was confident in his abilities and potential to a nervous wreck who felt completely lost about himself and his future. Erasmus couldn't have come at a better time.

Coming back to Warwick was almost like being a Fresher again. My confidence and optimism had been renewed, but this time I was determined. I was determined to not mess up this year like I did my first two. However, I don't feel like I've made much of an improvement. I have put in more effort (although still not enough really) at the expense of a social life. However, as the term 'social life' seems to mean getting hideously inebriated and trying to get lucky with some girl that looks like the back end of a goat and with a matching countenance, I'm not really missing out on much there!

Maybe this social life is the problem though. In Rennes it was easier, and not only because there were fewer hircine women. There seemed to be more to do, or there were more people who would think of things to do rather than rely on a select few to do it, hence more variety of social activity. At Warwick life feels like Groundhog Day, and I may as well actually study - it's just a shame that I'm not very good at it!

I haven't really exploited other opportunities either. Thanks to an ongoing problem with the practice room I haven't been able to form a band or do my job as Treasurer at the university's band society. I've written just one article for a student magazine that didn't even make the print. I've hardly done anything, apart from this teaching job to earn money to save up for potential travel plans once this boring year is over. However, due to my inability at being frugal, I'm not even doing that properly! (What am I spending my money on? I don't know! I have no life! I guess it must be all on comfort food and caffeine.) I'm as useful as a male nipple.


Misanthropic me?

My biggest problem seems to be that I've ricocheted from the try-hard extrovert that I was in my first year of university to someone who really can't be bothered to meet new people. I'm usually very comfortable with meeting strangers and I enjoyed finding that common ground (there was always something), the foundation upon which a friendship could be built.

However, these days I find the whole process too draining. Maybe it's because I've met so many people already, maybe it's because I can't even make the time to spend with all the friends I already have, or maybe I've just had enough of making shallow acquaintances with whom you basically just make MSN conversation whenever you bump into them on campus and it's too awkward to ignore them. You know what I mean:

"Hey man (because I forgot his name)"
"Hey Ollie (they remember mine, which makes me feel guilty)"
"How are you?"
"Good man. You?"
"Yeah all good....... see you later!"
"Later bro! (Why am I calling you 'bro'? You know nothing of my life! Unless you read my blog, then you'd probably know more than my actual brothers do...)"

So now I've erected a barrier around myself. I will not give my time to anyone who doesn't deserve it. The problem is, my closest friends are the social butterflies they always were. A couple of weeks ago I went to my friend's house expecting a quiet meal and three hours later I escaped from the house like it was Alcatraz, terrified at the prospect of making new friendships. I felt terrible for doing that, as I'm sure they were perfectly nice people, but I've got into a self-destructive frame of mind:  I'm not here for making friends. I'm here to struggle my way to a decent degree to give myself the best options for my future: a future that will probably not have anything to do with my degree anyway.

Wow, when I put it that way, this year really does look rather shit! It isn't all bad though. I still have some of my best friends around, who still manage to tolerate me. Furthermore, in terms of classes, this has been the best semester yet (obviously, because I've chosen them VERY carefully). After attempting the hardcore finance study, relying on my maths and avoiding "bullshit" modules, I thought I'd change to a subject where the lecturer does not have a fetish for making students cry with impossible exams. Naturally, I returned to the bullshit.


Highlight of the term? Classes!

Images of Creativity is possibly the best class I have done EVER. Spanish is a beautiful language and our teacher is incredible (I still have a B1 level in my sights by the end of the year). I did two law modules, which continually remind me how I probably would have much preferred a law degree. Oh and there was Managing Customer Service, the only real business option I took this semester, and that was because I can do an exam in January and get it out of the way. This is the only class where I can safely say what my teacher's research interest is in - the National Health Service. How do I know? Because every fucking case study was based on it! It was more like Managing Patient Service!

Oh and there had to be one core module to ruin my life: CIM. It stands for Critical Issues in Management, but to me Catholic Incessant Molestation would be a more apt analogy. That course will rape the hopes and dreams out of me through its wishy-washy repetitive case studies that are clearly all focused on the insolvable issue that is ethics. They say each case is different - it really isn't. It's all about ethics and made up countries. The best thing is that our teacher doesn't want us to waffle if we don't know the answer. THERE IS NO FUCKING ANSWER TO KNOW! We waffle or we stay silent - up to you scary lady.

I could do a whole blog post about the classes this term, as they were the only interesting thing I seemed to do. I may subject you to that later this week. The best thing about these classes was that I did get to meet new people through them. My barriers were disabled in class, and I've met some really nice people, or at least got to know some people a bit better so we're now having more than MSN conversations.


The bottom line?

I guess what upsets me most of all is not that I don't like being in the UK, but that I don't like that I don't like being in the UK. See what I mean? Why do I feel so asphyxiated at home? My life here is perfectly fine - I have great friends and lots of opportunities.

I just feel that I'm holding my breath by staying in my home country for so long and that I need a gasp of fresh air, to break the surface and fly somewhere else. Just for a bit. Just to experience international life once more. Just to be with my international friends again. Just to be with my girl again...

Oh yeah, a long-distance relationship resulting from Erasmus MAY be an important factor in one getting Post-Erasmus Depression Syndrome! I miss her every day and wish I had enough money to travel to Mexico on a whim and surprise her. Of course, I'm not that wealthy. If I were I would have gone to Oxford University for starters....

But seriously, life at the moment feels like limbo again, but it's much worse this time because it's for a whole year rather than a month. Once more I'm not really looking forward to Christmas this year, but it's much worse this time because last year I was looking forward to the end of Christmas - to my trip around Europe and another semester in Rennes.

This year, I have only graduation to look forward to, way ahead in July. I'm wishing away my last year of university. I can't help it - I just feel that four years may be too long, that this extra year is like that extra episode of Only Fools and Horses. They became millionaires - why the fuck did they have to air one more episode where they'd lost it all? I felt like a millionaire last year. Everything was right.

This is what Post-Erasmus Depression seems to do to you. It makes you view your Erasmus year through rose-coloured glasses and your time after through shit-stained ones. I guess Post-Erasmus Depression only hit me when I was back in my own university and making the inevitable comparisons between the two student lifestyles. Perhaps.

All I know is that I want this to end. I want to get this degree over and done with without fucking it up, and be free to unleash the side of me that blossomed last year but is suppressed by Warwick life for some unknown reason. Just six or seven months to go and hopefully all this will pay off.


Whew! Glad that's all out.

Sorry for the pessimistic post, but sometimes this blog becomes my catharsis and I need to share how I really feel (I can hear Ken Jeong going "GAY!" here). I'm also sorry for the lack of photos. I didn't take any this semester - there were no memories to keep (be right back, I'm getting the world's smallest violin...) I try to minimise the misery in my blog. I know it's not as much fun to read - so I'm sorry for the relapse here.

I came up with a new idea though yesterday for a new blog, a way to push myself as a writer, and I will divulge more on a separate post. Hopefully if I can improve my writing, I can stay a little sane and feel better!

Rant over

Ollie

Montage your way, to a great essay!

HI THERE!

Are you still struggling with that assignment? Are you finding that holding a staring contest with the computer screen until a first class essay magically appears in front of your eyes is not the most efficient way of getting it done? I know I was.

For three years I have foiled and toiled at every single essay-writing strategy available on the Internet. From yelling at Siri to holding Harvard Business School's Michael Porter at knifepoint until he told me his darkest business secrets, I have tried everything. I realised then that I just cannot handle essays.

OR SO I THOUGHT......

Last year I saw the film 'Limitless' in the cinema, where Bradley Cooper discovers the NZT pill that gives him incredible brainpower and productivity. Leaving the cinema I was upset: upset that such medication did not exist. It does have horrible side effects, such as wanting to kill yourself and everyone around you, as well as a sudden sexual lust for Susan Boyle. HOWEVER, that was just when you overdose. Just ONE pill would give me the concentration to complete my whole degree's worth of study - all 20 hours of it - in just ten minutes!

Wouldn't you want a pill just like this? Without the freaky side effects? Well there is a similar option that is not only real, but also much less dangerous to your physical and mental well-being, and it has actually been around since 1986.

The answer is THIS:

THAT'S RIGHT! Studies have found that listening to this timeless badass 80s melody will increase your productivity by 1000000%. The music makes one think of a montage, and in montage-mode, incredible things have happened. You don't believe me? Here are some testimonials:

"I had to translate a Colombian governmental statute from English to Yiddish for a biology assignment. I didn't even know where Yiddish is spoken! But when I played 'Danger Zone' within those 3 minutes 31 seconds I had not only learned the language, but I was translating complex legal vocabulary. By the time the song ended I even had traveled to school, handed it in, and received my first class degree! Thank you Kenny Loggins!"

- Jess Davidson, Biology student at Oxford University

It even works with your love life! Look at what Michael Waggledagger had to say!

"A couple of years ago I fancied this girl so much. Such a rack! She never looked at me twice though. Well.... maybe she did. I couldn't tell if her eyes were open with the amount of mascara and eyeliner she was wearing. In the space of this song I worked out and read books until I was as well-built as Daniel Craig and as clever as Stephen Fry! Lindsay and I have been together for two years now! Or at least I think it's Lindsay... she wears so much fake tan I forgot what her real face looks like."

These people now lead perfect lives, and it's all thanks to Kenny Loggins! Do you want to achieve everything you set out to? Then download Kenny Loggins - Danger Zone for a special price of only £29.99, complete with postage and packaging! It will lead you straight to a top grade - GUARANTEED!

Montage your way to a great essay!

..........(stupidly short delay that hardly gives you time to pick up the remote).....

Still here? Still not convinced? I know I wasn't! Maybe I should tell you about my personal experiences with this song? Well I wrote this blog update before the first verse was even finished. Then I had already received all your download purchases of Danger Zone for only £29.99 (with free P&P), and with the incredibly large profits I have invested in ten holiday properties around the world and am now drinking sangria on the beaches of Cancun with the money YOU helped to raise!

Are you confused? I know I was. BUY DANGER ZONE NOW AND LET IT CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER!

BECOME THE NEXT ROCKY BALBOA! Or the choir from Sister Act II, or Johnny Castle and Baby. Or the Karate Kid! IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU WANT TO BE - JUST MONTAGE YOUR WAY THERE!

Coming soon to our range - "You're the Best" by Joe Esposito. TWENTY TIMES AS EFFECTIVE AS KENNY LOGGINS!

YOU WANNA BE THE BEST? A MONTAGE WILL DO THE REST!

Warning: montaging is not scientifically proven to help you in any way, and may include side effects such as weird dances and further procrastination. Do so at your own risk. In fact why did you even read this? Surely you're procrastinating right now? You really have been counter-productive tonight. Buy Kenny Loggins now!

A letter to Warren Gatland.

Dear Warren Gatland.

So glad you're back - the office is a mess! Five straight defeats, the last two against teams that should not have beaten us at all, let alone on home turf! Now the All Blacks are coming on Saturday to destroy us. If you don't do something RADICAL, they will rack up a cricket score against us.

We need to reintroduce a couple of terms into our vocabulary. Offload, creativity, precision, possession, territory, QUICK RECYCLING. We need to hold on to the ball and stop generously kicking it to the opposition as if they were a team of 5 year old girls. The rugby is actually boring to watch (scrum half passes to forward, forward runs into gain line trying to get yardage, scrum half slowly recycles the ball to throw to a back, who does exactly the same!)

Your whole nation is saying 'PRIESTLAND MUST GO' - do we need to spell it out on our torsos and form a topless choir to perform a tour of the nation? Not only can he not kick, he has no flair in his decisions. GIVE HOOK A CHANCE! Stop putting him on the fucking bench!

Just to remind you - his opposite number is DAN CARTER! Arguably, the best player in the world. Putting Priestland against him AGAIN after his continuous errors is like getting your arse out and handing them the baseball bat.

Please sort it out. I'm proud to support Wales. Our team is the best in Europe, but won't be any longer if we continue to play with such a lack of creativity. I do NOT want to see a home defeat against England next Six Nations!

Yours sincerely

Oliver Lloyd
Not a pundit, just a man with common sense.

PS. I don't give a shit about the Lions tour. We need you with us next year!

Who is my flatmate?

YES! The wait is over - I am back on Warwick University campus, and it feels so weird! I've been away for sixteen months you see, doing that whole Erasmus thing I haven't shut up about, and the campus is so familiar, yet so different as well. I've gone from comfortably existing among the noobs, to becoming the old and wise finalist who is experienced in the art of Warwick life and surviving a degree. Of course that is not the case. I'm as wise as someone trying to pick an electric socket with a razorblade.

But I have not completely settled in just yet. You see, I'm staying in the halls of residence known in the common tongue as Claycroft. It is a wonderful residence with decent-sized rooms, a good location (next to the sports centre where I can burn some calories, and a Tesco where I can buy enough burgers to render my exercise useless) and a decent price.

The reason for the latter is shared bathrooms. These days if you want en suite at Warwick, you need to be the son/daughter/lover of an oil dealer from Qatar to afford it. However, I didn't particularly want to be living in a hostel for the year, setting off on a regular poop pilgrimage to the bathroom on the other side of the block. 

So Claycroft has provided the best of both worlds: flats with one bathroom per two rooms. This is great if you know with whom you're sharing this intimate place. I did a group application for halls with three other guys and two girls. Now, the flats are obviously gonna be single sex, so that rules out the girls, and one of my friends wasn't guaranteed on campus accommodation because the poor bastard hasn't been away for the last year and thus has been able to look for his own place in Leamington, and the lots that were drawn were not in his favour. 

You can probably guess what's happened. As fate would have it, the two other guys have been allocated together, permitting all the facilities they need for their homoerotic endeavours, leaving me with a fear of the unknown. 

Who is my flatmate? He hasn't arrived yet, and judging by the lack of familiar faces last night at the Students Union, it probably isn't going to be someone I already know. A bathroom is an intimate place to share between two people. I have a few theories about who it could be, and why I should be worried. 

1) The Player: The sort of student who will spend the year fishing for Freshers, and reeling them into his love boudoir conveniently located next to my innocent recluse so that I can hear every gyration of his conquests in the middle of the night, leaving me bereft of sleep and sanity.

2) The Raver: To him 'student' is merely a title, an excuse to spend three years on a daily binge of ale and amphetamines, crashing his way back in the flat at 4am with a gang of other lunatics so they can continue the night listening to house music at full volume whilst they bellow philosophies about the meaning of life and the purpose of Kim Kardishian, before quickly darting to hurl all over the white goods, leaving me bereft of sleep and sanity, and with a mess to clean up in the morning.

3) The Dysentery: The unfortunate sort with terrible flatulence or bowel problems that will make horrible noises and leave nasty smells to poison me every time I use the bathroom. Not to mention the skid marks...

4) The Self-harmer. Blood is not a welcome sight, and I am here to finish a degree, not to be a therapist.

5) The Oxbridge Reject: The tall brash handsome guy whose arms are as thick as his English accent. The only problem he has ever faced in life was failing to bribe Oxford or Cambridge University to admit him with his mediocre grades from Eton using generous donations from his banker father. He plays rugby, yet studies a scientific subject to make him the quintessential perfect man, apart from his bigoted conservative and anti-foreigner views. You know the sort...

6) The Nerd: I will be quite nerdy this year. I need to make sure the last three years are not all in vain and attain that 2.1 degree that seems to be all the rage. However, I do like to play guitar (both acoustic and electric) and the occasional bit of loud rock/metal music from my iPod speakers. If my  flatmate is even nerdier than I am and unable to tolerate this my sanity is at severe risk. 

7) The Thief: Oh my shower gel seems to have run out quickly. Waaaaaait......

8) The Creep: He will take a weird liking to me, watching me as I walk into the bathroom, sniffing my soap and brushing the bristles of my toothbrush. He wants my arse, but won't make the move. Then there's the sort who will.

9) The Queer Rapist: You know, like the Bull Queers from the Shawshank Redemption, targeting men after years without seeing a woman. They probably won't be prisoners, but they could be from somewhere like Estonia where all the attractive women have emigrated to live the American Dream modelling for third-rate blogs (....) and hence target me as their next sexual conquest. 

10) Norman Bates from Psycho. In that case, Mum, Dad. I love you, and hope you can continue to live a normal and fruitful life.

As you can see, this uncertainty is rather vexing. Why couldn't it just be a girl. They're clean, tidy and when they fart it smells like lavender....... 

Oh well, soon I shall know. Fingers crossed it's not one of those aforementioned guys, but I'm not too hopeful.

Rant over

Ollie

My Erasmus Story

Okay, I have just entered a written competition: "My Erasmus Story - Making An Impact". I had to summarise a year in 1000 words or less. I didn't think it was possible, but I gave it a go. Let's see what you think!

Ollie

My Erasmus Story – Making An Impact

Impact – what an interesting word. Sceptical ears could dismiss it as the rhetoric of politicians and business leaders. However, a curious ear may embrace it, seeing opportunity, excitement and new experiences. What does the word mean to me? Did Erasmus make the sort of impact that would appease potential employers as they skim my CV, or was it more of a deep impact, the sort that is not only plagiarised by the writer of Armageddon, but also the profound sort that could have a somewhat epiphanic influence on my personal development?

Arriving in Rennes, France, for my Erasmus exchange last September, I was certainly sceptical. My family has been to France for every summer holiday for the past fifteen years. Variety is the spice of life, and my parents hate the kick. France: been there, done that – what could living there really do for me? I chose France for my exchange over somewhere new so I could improve my French as well as my business acumen, though being welcomed by ubiquitous miserable customer service quickly brought into question my decision to study marketing there!

Luckily, however, I had the curiosity as well.

Rennes is a vibrant city in the heart of Brittany where the old and new are intertwined in that idiosyncratically French fashion. I am not going to waste my precious few words describing the city, you can find that on Wikipedia. The city’s significance for me lies in the memories I created there, of relaxing in Le Parc du Thabor, the bar crawls at La Rue de la Soif, that magical night when the city hosted a music festival in the streets, and of course: the people.

Within two weeks of arriving, I was hosting a party with attendees from countries as diverse as Finland, Germany, Mexico, Russia and Ecuador. Many of these became my closest friends. The world had assembled in this picturesque little city, and how I loved it!

Not only was boredom brutally banished as we delighted in learning about each other’s backgrounds, cultures and languages (I enjoyed teaching the rules of rugby as we watched my country Wales blissfully win the Grand Slam!) but the people themselves happened to be among the most incredible I have ever met, with a real carpe diem mentality. For me, being part of such an open-minded and cosmopolitan group was a novel experience that made every day feel as exciting as Christmas. Wizzard would be jealous!

Amongst all this excitement I should mention I actually did some studying. My hosting business school, ESC Rennes, was quite different from what I was used to in England. Seminars and lectures were integrated, and a more practical team-based approach was encouraged. This gave me an opportunity to develop my teamwork skills in a way I would never have been able to at home. I also benefited from enthralling subjects such as Sales and Digital Marketing which are not taught at my own university.

As for my attempts to become bilingual, I found it much easier to learn French outside the classroom through everyday interactions with the locals. My advice for learning a language: talk to the drunks. They speak slower and you will learn lots of colloquial words.

Having enjoyed studying at the ESC so much, I decided to stay for two extra months to promote the school to prospective French students. This included giving guided tours of the campus in French, playing games with the applicants and, as the sole Briton, sharing Britain’s culture with the applicants, from our exemplary music to our not-so-impressive cuisine. With the lack of British ingredients available in France, my patrons had to settle for toasties! It was an unforgettable experience. I truly felt like I was an ambassador for my country.

Furthermore, I spent a lot more time with the French during this period, joining in their dissonant songs and appreciating their unique sense of humour. For the last week, they even asked me to join the daily show they were performing for the prospective students. I was honoured.

Before Erasmus I was pessimistic and lacking in passion. One year later, I feel empowered. I not only survived, but thrived during this Erasmus exchange, and for me that is a monumental achievement. Erasmus is not easy. It has many challenges, from the language barrier to cultural shock to managing that generous Erasmus grant. Overcoming these problems has made me more independent, more responsible, and infinitely more confident.

A perfect example of this was in January. How many Welshmen can say they have travelled across twelve countries in just three weeks with a Mexican and an Ecuadorian? It was a difficult trip to organise. We darted from Budapest to Bruges, from Venice to Vienna, from Hamburg to Helsinki, savouring the sights and devouring the delicacies. The trip was not without its problems, though. We were robbed in the Czech Republic and our budgets were thin, so completing the trip developed me greatly as a person.

Now I am truly excited by what lies ahead. I have a large international network and an insatiable wanderlust. My French Culture teacher at the ESC helped to rekindle my love for writing and languages, and I know now that my future career must involve these. I also had the great fortune of meeting my wonderful girlfriend during Erasmus, who I shall visit very soon. Now bilingual, I have started work on adding Spanish and Mandarin to my linguistic arsenal. If it were not for Erasmus, I may have still been targeting a more conventional career and I may not have found my passion – for language, travel and culture.

Did Erasmus make an impact on my life, and not just my CV? Absolutely! I arrived with the desire to become bilingual and left with so much more. If anyone is still sceptical, stop overthinking. Just do it! Be open to new experiences, and it could make an impact on you too.

I need your help!

 I've done a lot of the talking this last year. Now, dear readers, it's your turn. If you have a couple of minutes, Oliver R Lloyd III needs you! 

As I get ready for my final year at university, I anticipate that there won't be anything like as much to report as there was in Rennes. The Life and Musings will probably become more about my Musings than my rather repetitive Life. The blog will continue, but it will probably be a little less frequent (yep, about one post a year).

I need a new direction. I really want to continue writing, but I need to branch out! I need something to keep me sane during this year full of cold hard business. 

My question to you readers: What would you like to see me write next?

I have a couple of ideas already, but I'm not going to share them just yet, because I want to see if you have any fresh ideas totally uninfluenced by my own. 

This may be easier if you actually know me. What am I talking about?! Honestly with the amount of fucking detail I've gone into this past year you probably know more about me than you know about your mum! I am nothing like as important as her (unless she's Sarah Palin) so I apologise for that. 

So to what would you next like me to turn my metaphorical pen? Any ideas are welcome! Go on, be creative!

Please comment below or you can join the Life and Musings Facebook page on https://www.facebook.com/TheLifeAndMusings and contact me on there! 

I really appreciate the feedback I've received so far and would love to write more. Thank you for reading - it's been a pleasure so far! 

Rant over

Ollie

Rennes - One Year On.

Reading Time: 4-5 minutes.

Ah. My blog: it's been a while! This time, however, I have no excuse for not updating it. I'm no longer busy with day-to-day life in Rennes. It's not like I've been doing loads this summer either, changing the world one rubber duck at a time. There's been no work experience either. My skills have not been honed in business insight, but in Pokémon White (No, it's not childish! It's an intricate game of strategy!) So what is my excuse?

At least I had some Easter eggs I hadn't been home to eat

Well, there hasn't been much to report, and I have already proved myself incapable of writing small  snippets like most bloggers. Instead I choose to subject the reader to paragraph after paragraph of verbosely written and excessively and extravagantly protracted lexicon in an attempt to make them submit to a dictionary and a therapist. So, I thought I'd wait until there would be enough material to write the usual novella, but I've given up already upon neglecting my blog for too long - I'm scared it will run off with someone else.

So, I chose today to break my silence. Today is a very special day. No, it is not my birthday - that's in eleven days (hint hint) - this is far more important. While my birthday commiserates the day of my birth, I'd like to think today commemorates the first year anniversary of the birth of International Ollie. No, it's not another unfunny alter-ego: it's just the new Ollie that emerged from an exchange year in Rennes with a newly discovered passion for being part of international groups, traveling and foreign languages....

Basically: a year ago today was the day I moved to Rennes.

The day itself was not the most exciting. I was up at 4am for a drive to Poole through randomly windy roads that involved my dad running over an owl. Then my friend joined us on the ferry to France and I settled in Rennes that afternoon. I remember the gallette I ate that evening with delicious Breton cider to go with it, but I could not fully enjoy it as I was so nervous about Rennes. I remember my fears. Would I survive in another country? I hardly survived second year - would this be just as bad if not worse? Would I make any new friends? Would I improve my French at all? Would I be wasting a year?

I remember those fears so well, because it felt like yesterday...

Now here I am, one year later. I'm alive, I'm bilingual (by my dad's standards, not by my own insatiable ones) and I have not only a large network of friends from many different countries, but someone very special waiting for me on the other side of the Atlantic. While a year ago I felt very pessimistic about my future, I am now extremely excited for what the future holds. One more year in the UK, then I am free to explore and enjoy this world.

Me and my girl at a music festival in Rennes.
Such good times!

But for now, new fears have surfaced. For example, how can I convince my professors at university that the aforementioned transformation was what made my year abroad? For them, the main aim of the year abroad is to learn about the different business culture in France. And they wonder why society mocks them!

After a wonderful year's copulation with Erasmus life and all its joy, I am now left with the unwanted pregnancy of two fat essays to write for my own university to count the year towards my degree.

I hate essays. They are horrendously vague, you never know how much reading is enough, and they are subjectively marked to the the assessor's own mysterious standards. A time-consuming failure to appease whose method is in the ability to either survive reading a mountain of informative but terribly written gobbledygook written by authors who are as boring as their bibliographies, or to sleep with the assessor. It's a guy this time. To the books!

Other fears? That I will balls up this final year the same way I did second year and have nothing to show for four years but a mountain of debt and many much more successful friends who will refuse to offer me a job because they will know how useless I really am... nah, I'll be alright.

I am actually quite pumped to get back to Warwick and finish this degree. It's getting me through Post Erasmus Depression for starters. As anyone who had an awesome time at Erasmus (which should be the majority) would know, after living in this dream reality that's as cosmopolitan as It's A Small World but without the annoying music, it can be rather difficult to readjust to normal life in your own country. Having had the best time of my life, realising I am in my element when in an international environment, and falling for a wonderful girl from another continent, it may come as a shock to discover that I am, in fact, no exception.

I want to still be in France. I want to feel like I can be myself without peers from my own country looking down upon me for being weird. I want to practise foreign languages without being suppressed as a show-off. I want to still see those incredible people I met there, especially my girl. I don't know when I can next see her. It all depends on how frugal I can be this year - something I've never been good at.

But my Welsh friends and Warwick are getting me through. These essays and preparation for the final year, as well as catch-ups with my friends, are keeping me busy, drawing my focus away from the heavy feeling in my stomach and heart. In four weeks time I'll be starting the all-important final year, and there will be much to keep me occupied.

Apart from my studies, I have the great honour of being part of BandSoc's fantastic executive committee. I should explain: every society (or club) at the university is ran for students by an executive committee (or 'exec' for short) of elected student members. After missing out on my first attempt, I have been elected onto an exec as Treasurer for the Band Society, or BandSoc for short.

BandSoc focuses on bringing musicians together to form bands and to provide them with somewhere to practice, gigs to play, and a supportive network of other musicians. It was lots of fun for me in my first two years at uni, so to help run it this year will be a great experience, especially helping to organise the annual Battle of the Bands competition, in which I hope to play again.

I looked more impressive
than I sounded...

Moreover, I am going to be promoting the Erasmus scheme to school students as an Erasmus Ambassador for the British Council, through (shorter) blogs and speeches. I guess I'm doing this not just so others can enjoy what I've enjoyed, not just for the experience, but also to be part of Erasmus still, stubbornly holding on.

Finally, I've got myself an awesome job teaching English online to French people for a French company. It will be convenient, being in my room on a computer. It will be fun. I'll feel like I'm directly helping others, and I'll be saving up the earnings to go traveling when I can, especially to Mexico.

All in all, there's plenty to look forward to. I still have some great friends in Wales to entertain me for the next couple of weeks, then it's a busy year full of new experiences, and then a lifetime of uncertainty, freedom, and, hopefully, fulfillment.

It may not be Rennes this year, but it's not too bad at all!

Rant over

Ollie

Let the Games Begin!

God I hope he can run flat out

WOOHOO! After seven years of hype, overspending and totalitarianism from Seb Coe, this evening will see the beginning of the greatest sporting event in the world! For the next couple of weeks, the world's eyes will be on our beloved nation as it tries to remind everyone that despite countries no longer wanting to have their resources taken from them by force, Great Britain still has some degree of value.

I'm sure the Opening Ceremony will be wonderful. Easily as good as Beijing's. China, you may have a vastly superior GDP, culture of ruthlessness and perfectionism and a far more talented population, but we've got Adele, so in your 1.3 billion faces, Chinese!

But of course Danny Boyle's event this evening will only showcase what Britain is good at our music (the best in the world), our sense of humour and history, our pessimism, binge drinking, caked up women and teenage pregnancies. After all this ostentatious demonstration Britain will probably then return to the disappointment to which we are so accustomed.

Dunno what the hype is about Jessica Ennis.
It's not like she's talented or attractive...

Jessica Ennis, Tom Daley, Philips Idowu, Kelly Holmes (oh wait she's not in it? She's on TV so much you'd think she was!) have so much pressure on them and have been spending so much time with their publicity they could suffer the 'England football fever' and fail to deliver the extremely high expectation that the BBC always imposes.

Nope, my eyes would be on Usain Bolt of course, just because he is so damn cool! His injury has left people in doubt as to whether or not he could break his world record I MEAN win the 100m, but he's the kind of athlete that you could have faith in to live up to the hype, probably because he isn't British.

Michael Phelps is just 3 Gold Medals away from becoming the greatest Olympian of all time. The Chinese will always wow. It will be a wonderful opportunity to see just what the human body is capable of.

I'm never excited about a sporting event before it starts, apart from the Six Nations of course. So far I've merely been bombarded with news updates for every additional pebble that goes towards the stadiums, the high economic cost and the failure of G4S. This week, I've just been waiting for the Games to end. After all it makes no difference to me where they are - my TV works just as well regardless!

But I know that once they start, I'll be glued to the TV watching the incredible range of sport. After all, it is only once every four years that most people give a shit about sports such as cycling, rowing and sailing...

Or I would be glued to the TV, but from next Friday I shall be going back to France for a couple of weeks (the rest of the Games). No, no more Erasmus I'm afraid. It won't be that interesting - just me trying to relax.

...and let's not forget the Olympic-themed advertising...

And next week? Well, I'm going to London Monday, but not for the Olympics. That's right kids, Employable Ollie is back (well, I'm trying to become him again) and has an interview for a graduate position in the City, playing his (well, my) trump card of a Deloitte fast track as fast as he (well, I) can before the trip to France. So obviously in preparation for this, I will not have the time to enjoy the Olympics as there's an extremely competitive graduate job market to enter. Shame those games will make traveling around bloody awkward.

So there we are! Check out the Olympics, enjoy them and don't have too much faith in Team GB - that way if we get a medal haul it will be AWESOME! I would love to watch it, but it won't be too feasible. So bring on the Sky+ replays!

Rant over

Ollie

The end.

(Reading time: 7 mins.)


(Thanks to this nifty new nugget of a feature, suggested by my friend and part avid, part apathetic reader Pawel, you now know just how much reading you're in for before you dive in. I know - seven minutes. Quite the marathon. Now you can put the kettle on, call your family and tell them you won't be home for a while, put your feet up and start reading. Hell, you can even do it in two minute chunks if it's too much in one go! The options are endless!)

The title. Six letters. Well five, and two uses of 'e'. Who would have thought that those six letters would be so poignant? They're just two small words, but perhaps it is the impact of their small size that abruptly brings everything to a close. Whatever the case, this is it. This evening I leave Rennes for good. This is the end. 

Now I have really enjoyed writing this blog and sharing my adventures, experiences and friendships with whoever can be bothered to read it. To those of you who have, thank you very much - it has been a great confidence boost to see so many read what is basically the autobiography of a nobody. I'm not famous (yet) so it's great to see such a following, and the kind words have actually made me more confident in my writing and maybe even get epic delusions of grandeur and see it as a possible career move in the future, but I'd need to write a lot more first!

Anyway, this update isn't really about the blog, because the blog is by no means finished. Its main subject up to now, however, has. I am leaving Rennes. The best time of my life is over. 

Words cannot describe how it feels to be doing this. To be leaving the city that had become my home. To be saying goodbye to the many people from all over the world who contributed to making me feel so loved, so special, so alive. We all say the usual 'You have to come to UK/Mexico/Ecuador/Senegal/Korea/Antarctica/Degobah' and reply with 'For sure!' Of course, we all know it is not for sure. Those bastard taxes on air fares are going to make it very difficult to see each other again, but we must hope.

WAS THE YEAR A SUCCESS?

I look back to the post I wrote the day before I left for Rennes (http://welcometoolliewood.blogspot.fr/2011/09/tomorrows-big-day.html) and to what my hopes and expectations were for the year abroad. I was afraid that it would be like my A level results day, living in Leamington Spa and the birth of my first son - overhyped. It really wasn't. It was worth every chunk of hype that was thrown at me. In fact, I'd dare say it was underhyped, because it is really difficult to translate the experiences and emotions into words. A good example was when my dad came last week to move me out of Appart City (I'm writing this in an apartment above La Rue de la Soif, but that's another story), and I surprised him with a prearranged drinks session with some international friends. He was amazed by the truly international lifestyle I was living.

So what else did I say? Hmmm........ Oh! "So I shall have this attitude. As long as I do well in my classes, improve my French, and get some sort of work experience next summer I will consider the year a success. I don't have to become a changed man brimming with confidence, although that would probably come from success in this year abroad anyway". 

Okay, did I manage this? Yes, YEs, YES, and YEEEEES! Past Ollie, I can tell you that we did it! I passed all my classes this year with a decent number of As among them, including Marketing Research, the class with the indecipherable teacher. That means - I must be fluent in Chinese!!! 

Did I improve my French? Je pense. My understanding of native French speakers still sucks, and so does my accent (mais les femmes le trouvent mignon, donc je m'en fous!) and my grammar isn't perfect BUT I can say basically anything I want to in French. Any words I don't know I can work around. AAAAND my dad told me I can call myself fluent BOOM! He's a French teacher, so he knows his shit. IT'S OFFICIAL THEN! I AM BILINGUAL! My dream has come true! No, not that one where I had a carrot for a penis, the one about being fluent in a foreign language despite the obstacles of being British. 

Work experience........ well the Admissibles job that I enjoyed so much kinda counts I guess. I could bullshit something about an internship and PR to the big companies I'm applying to this summer (I was promoted last week to being part of the show that the Animation team put on for the candidates - improvisation like a boss!). The cold calling job could have been easier to bullshit, but of course due to leaving after four days, I don't think it merits a place on my CV. 

I failed to get a ‘proper’ internship though, and never said why. Oh wait, you don't care?...... I'll just continue. PwC went to pot after I failed the logical reasoning test by one grade, despite passing everything else in the assessment centre (fucking patterns prevented me from that perfect internship!), I refused BT after they offered me an interview with a 15 minute presentation about information systems. I didn't think they'd appreciate a 15 minute rant about how I couldn't give less of a shit. Cuntrica refused me after the first round for some reason, and then the other companies kept me waiting for ages (especially Unilever, who did nothing for three months to process my application) before telling me the vacancy was full.

I was only rejected by 3 companies! Deloitte, however, have kindly offered me a fast track to the interview stage for the graduate application, my only reward for all my work, which I shall take advantage of. 

My lesson, however, is to get those applications in early, and to have some confidence, because I got very far in most of those applications! Anyway, if I had succeeded, I wouldn't have stayed for the amazing Admissibles job and I wouldn't have been with Daniela, so I guess everything happens for a reason.

But the most important thing from this year is: I actually do feel like a changed person brimming with confidence. I can make friends easily, no matter where they are from, and great friends at that.  I can survive in a foreign country. Hell, I not only survived – I made it my home! For the first time I felt like I belonged, instead of feeling like an outsider. That has given me hope for the future. I’m not Welsh – I’m a man of the world! I don’t think I will be in Sheepland much longer at all…

A TRIBUTE, PART II

Now I look to the post I wrote in December called ‘A Tribute’ (http://welcometoolliewood.blogspot.com.es/2011/12/tribute.html), where I thanked all my friends like some hyperbolic Golden Globe acceptance speech. That was only the halfway point! So this time we’re talking fucking Oscars!

Just kidding. I can’t be bothered. I’ll top up the thanks to those who stayed here for the full year. Matt, you were still horrendously English. Thanks for making me slightly knowledgeable about football and increasing my street cred at home. See you soon! Simon (or should I say Diego) you’re still weird, and I’ll miss you loads! Itzel mi hermanita mayor: te quiero para siempre.

The Irish were still awesome, especially Maybe for staying the whole time and kicking ass at the Admissibles. Seung Taek, we became very good friends this semester through our pursuits of French and world domination. Bon courage mec! All my awesome classmates from the first semester were still there, including the Finnish and the Germans, as well as some pretty cool new French students who had been on exchange in the first semester, especially Clémence, who's one of those French girls who pretends to be American and has a joint love of sports and nerdery - you know the type! I was also very fortunate to get to know people I didn’t know during the first semester, like Marina from Rio, Shams from Egypt, Polish Pawel and Nadia and Gonzalo from Madrid.

The second semester also saw an influx of Russians from St Petersburg, who were a really cool bunch and brought a kind of freshness to the semester, so thanks Anastasia, Maria, Tanya, Asya, Sacha, Erwin and Alis. There was also a healthy new supply of awesome Mexicans, one of whom I ended up dating and another of whom ended up being a very good friend of mine. Daniela and Abraham, it has been a pleasure doing the Admissibles with you and our excursion to Madrid will be an awesome end to the year.

I know I’ve missed people out. I don’t know if that’s a bad thing or a good thing because you’ve avoided epic embarrassment. But I’m feeling rather nostalgic and grateful, so thanks to everyone who’s contributed to this year.




GOODBYE.

I will miss Erasmus. Dearly. I will miss Rennes. The old buildings, the new buildings, the gallettes, the cider the lack of horrible English accents, the ability to walk everywhere, the ESC, le Parc du Thabor, le Parc de Gauyelles,the market on Saturdays, la Rue de la Soif, the Funky Munky, the metro, walking on the riverside, Brittany. Hell before long I may even miss the Soif hobos, the annoying singing, having to dodge the dog turds (I assume. You never know with these hobos) strewn across the pavements, the rather appalling no. 30 bus service... they were all pieces of the jigsaw puzzle that displayed my Erasmus.

It was never going to be forever, but it had become a lifestyle that I was used to, that I had loved. Post Erasmus Depression will probably strike me, and strike me hard. However, there’s loads to look forward to, especially back at university this October. My future plans can be put into action once I’m back home, so I’m hoping that can distract me from PED. Hopefully the others can distract themselves from it as well.

So on that very happy high note, I think I should finish living my last day in Rennes. Sorry for the long and slightly miserable update, BUT what did you expect?! Ollie….leaving…..Rennes…..the…..end. The hints were there!

Anyway it’s the end of my year abroad, but not of my blog. It’s called ‘The Life and Musings of Oliver R Lloyd III’. I am still alive. I still have musings. So the blog will continue, at least until I have something better to do. Keep reading if you want (by the way, the ‘if you want’ bit is just me being polite. KEEP READING MY BLOG OR ELSE! I don’t care how bad it is......)

Oh yeah I’m supposed to be going. I leave for Madrid in a couple of hours…Au revoir la France!

Rant over

Ollie

Can I write a new post in just 5 minutes, before I leave for a day at the beach?

Nope.

Professional Partygoers

The whole Restauration team! 

Readers, I am about to do something I have not done for a while. I am actually going to write an update on the CURRENT situation in Rennes, rather than events so long ago they may as well have been written in Shakespearian. 

I've probably mentioned this before, but I made the extremely difficult decision to stay in Rennes a couple of months longer to undertake a simple and relaxed work placement for a decent sum of money, further improving my French and spending time with some incredible Erasmus (and French!) people, rather than spend an extra couple of months alone in my Welsh abode wallowing in post-Erasmus depression. 

Nervous at the prospect of the new job?
Or just messing about?
You decide.....

Was it a good decision? Needless to say, oui. I am having a blast! You're probably thinking "How can anyone get so much fulfillment from WORK?!" ....................okay, you're ACTUALLY probably thinking "Why am I reading this shit when I could be watching the Euro 2012 game/latest 'Desperate Housewives' episode/porno instead?" but just go with me here. Pretty please?

The answer, my faithful reader with the former provocation, is that this 'work' is not really 'work', and that is why I enjoy it so much! No, I am not French or workshy (I may have insinuated that there should be an 'and' instead of an 'or' there....), I have merely learned a very important lesson this last month. An eleventh commandment, if you will:

Thou shalt NEVER work!

To me, the word 'work' suggests 'doing something one wouldn't normally want to do for compensation, monetary and/or otherwise'. That full-time cold calling job that I undertook was complete and utter WORK! I hated that shit from Day 1, and on Day 4 I had set myself a challenge to avoid getting fired. HOW DEMOTIVATING IS THAT?! There were no carrots to chase; not even the large sum of money I would earn for a summer of awesomeness would suffice as motivation. I was just trying to get through each day, one by one, call by call, inadvertent snooze by inadvertent snooze, without the humiliation and confidence knock that was the sack. 

I was successful a day later. I left on mutual agreement BOOM!

So we cannot put ourselves through unsatisfactory routines for the sake of money. I couldn't see that job through even though it would have ensured the end of any money issues and maybe enable my chance to travel. Money isn't the most important thing in work, and it's taken me so long to realise it. We need to do a job that we love so much that it does not feel like work. I'm not claiming this is my own idea either; I'm sure some of you will have read this before. Check this out: http://alittlenudge.wordpress.com. 

In fact, this lesson has made me wonder what I should really be going for after graduation. Is the Big Four really for me, or will I just be miserable? Should I stick to plan A of getting a highly-paid job so I could retire young and enjoy my life later with no worry about money, or do I enjoy myself from the start but earn hardly enough to do so? I feared that I will see all conventional  'jobs' as work, and that I will get nowhere in life due to lack of motivation and a stubborn pursuit of hedonism. 

Luckily this job at the ESC has made me realise that making money can be enjoyable.

Working hard or hardly working?

This job at the ESC involves catering for and welcoming French-speaking students who come to the school to do an interview and admissions test for the prestigious Grande Ecole programme (PGE). These admissibles are applying to several schools, so we also need to make them feel inclined to choose ESC Rennes over any other school should their application be successful.

Making the Admissibles feel at home. 

So why is it so much fun? Let's answer this in the style of basically any business-related publication, with a LIST!

11 reasons why this job is AWESOME! 

1) There are a variety of tasks. Yes it is mostly catering, but even then we are given different shifts at different times of the day to mix it up a bit.

2) Autonomy - we are free to promote the school as we please. The key is to create a good atmosphere, so we've played and danced to loud music in the corridors, sang songs, even played indoor badminton (One of the admissibles almost clumsily walked into my racket the other day!). 

Typical ESC mealtime. Bon appetit!

3) This autonomy includes Mario Kart sessions with the potential students. That particular activity is so  awesome it deserves to be a reason in itself!

4) I do not have to travel to the other side of the city every morning, doing the same repeated task for eight hours a day and with no company except for good-natured but uncommunicative French people. 

5) Instead I spend my time within the familiar walls of the business school collaborating with interesting Erasmus students and very communicative French people indeed, welcoming candidates for the school's Grande Ecole programme with drinks, biscuits and smiles.

Employable Ollie is still in France

6) It will help my employability! Yes it doesn't sound like much, but Employable Ollie, with his fluency in the old Latin language of Bullshitish, could translate it as "undertaking an internship in Public Relations, using creativity and demonstrating initiative to promote the school through a multitude of methods to potential candidates, including the use of bilingual communication skills." for any potential graduate employer who was hoping for palpable work experience. 

7) The bosses are also students themselves - we really feel like a team!

8) The first day we got to play laser tag FOR FREE! Having partaken in this sport twice this year already, I was determined to top my previous scores, and after three games I increased my personal best each time to be the top scorer on my team in the final game!!! Our team got owned, so I was basically a dwarf among hobbits, but that's not the point here. The point is, as Employable Ollie would put it I demonstrated my desire to learn from my mistakes and strive for continuous personal self-improvement.

Team Dragons ASSEMBLE!

9) We get to try international food. Divided into international teams, once a week we are required to cook something from our own country to provide samples for the admissibles, as well as share our cultures through decorations and music from our own country (the music was my team's idea - well done Katie and Marina!). I've been made responsible for a 'British' team, despite being the only actual Brit, joined by Irish Katie and Brazilian Marina. For my dish I struggled. What British dish has ingredients available in France (rules out a few options), is affordable (rules out a few more) is within my ability to cook (rules out the majority)............then it came to me: TEA AND TOASTIES!

Serving tea and toasties on British day.

The intercultural toasted sandwiches with French brioche bread and ham, cheddar and Worcestershire sauce went down a treat (and came back up later in the toilets - just kidding.... I hope....). And of course, we totally steal food from the other teams - can't beat Mexican molletes!

Representing my country LIKE A BOSS!

10) We can help ourselves to the food and drink, sometimes with permission!

11) WE ARE PAID TO PARTY! Not only in the school do we party, but we actually have a special (but slightly hideous) T-shirt to wear out in the bars in the evenings to show the admissibles the nightlife in Rennes. We are being paid to do what we've done all year as Erasmus students, and I won't say no to that!

Hard at work

Of course, weekends are free as well, so life outside the ESC can continue as usual. Sometimes that's when it gets tough - when I realise there are so few people left to hang out with, and I cannot help but compare the current situation to what it was before the Great Exodus in April, and especially in the autumn term.

However, there are still a few familiar friendly faces with me. Simon, my good friend and travel companion in January is the only one left with me in Appart City as Seung Taek the Sneaky Asian, still in Rennes, has escaped the clutches of our psycho hotel manager Jerome, who has been busy stealing the deposits of our friends. Avoiding the same fate for myself is possibly my only worry in this country. 

There is also Katie, the only Irish girl who decided to stay for the Admissibles job, and due to her obsession with that very annoying Carly Rae Jepson song, playing and singing it multiple times per day, I shall henceforth do exactly what she is singing. Maybe's new place in the city centre has become a sort of clubhouse for us remaining Erasmus students - perfect for predrinking parties, movies and of course, the football! Spain v Ireland was especially fun, as we watched it with Maybe from Ireland and some Spaniards too! Don't you just love international banter?!


I guess I should add that I now have someone special keeping me company here too. Yes, that's right - this weird Brit has somehow got himself a girl. And not just a girl, but a Latina! I spend a lot of time with my Mexican and she is an important part of my stay here, so I had to give her a mention on this blog. She's lovely and pretty, and I'm a lucky guy! Also, she is teaching me how to cook (with my expensive propensity to eat out this is VERY helpful) and also helping me learn some Spanish.

En Dinan con mi novia.

It is such a beautiful language, Spanish. The sounds, the Latin origins, the way they pronounce their Js like Hs and Vs like Bs. It is also far easier to understand than French - EVERYTHING is pronounced. The French have developed a sort of defense system against foreigners knowing their language. You can't tell plurals from singulars, the language is designed to run into each other ('Je ai?' nah make it 'J'ai'. 'Tu es?' Fuck that, too much effort - 'T'es!' 'Je suis'? No, the roast beef may understand us - let's say 'Shuis'.) and then there's the verlon language - the colloquial slang language derived from reversing French words that wasn't given the slightest acknowledgement in my school curriculum!

Now the Spanish speakers aren't as isolationist in their language (or in their countenance). I sat with eight of them one afternoon. Just me and eight Spanish speakers from Spain, Mexico, Ecuador, Morocco and even Germany, and even with all their different accents, and of course my lack of Spanish knowledge, I could understand more of what they were saying than the French, whose language I'm supposed to be fluent in!

I'm not whipped..really!

It's not just my Daniela's influence, but I have decided to pursue Spanish as my third language. I will acquire it through perseverance and Skype sessions with these wonderful people next year. My knowledge of French is already a catalyst for my Spanish learning curve - the grammatical structure is very similar, the concept of masculine and feminine words and as they are both derived from Latin, the vocabulary is very similar, so you can guess the meaning of Spanish words using French.

Oh yeah, so it's great to have Daniela as company here. I won't make a huge fuss out of it, because this is a blog, not a diary, and some things are too personal even for me to go into great detail about on a public website. But I can thank her for her kindness, for making me laugh and for being a great person online, can't I?

Gonzalo and Yohanna - great 'colleagues'!

Simon, Taek, Maybe, Daniela........ who am I forgetting? Well, a lot of people really! The Spaniard Gonzalo and his German girlfriend Yohanna share my rota at the ESC and are an absolute pleasure to work with. Some shifts can involve a lot of waiting, but you can always be sure to have a good conversation with these guys, and the time passes quickly, They are brilliant linguists themselves, both fluent in English, French and Spanish with Yohanna also speaking her native German and Gonzalo having Italian and Polish in his linguistic arsenal. Both very clever, it is a fun way to pass the time.

I've already mentioned Marina, the Brazilian who is in my team at the Admissibles job, and shares the awesome flat with Maybe. I have only gotten to know her once this job has started, and she is as sweet as she is a talented dancer - showcasing music from her home city of Rio de Janeiro to really enliven the parties! There are also the numerous Mexicans - especially Abraham, Marisol and Steph. I realise we men are rather outnumbered in this Admissibles team, so it's a relief to chat with Abraham and Gonzalo about more masculine topics such as football, rock and metal, women, video games,  sociocultural developments in Lesotho and the like. There are many others as well who are great fun. Russians, Spaniards, more Mexicans, Chinese,  Egyptians, Polish, Ethiopians......... the multicultural group lives on!

As you can see, the women outnumber us. Good times!

Pierre - our boss, and new friend.

But possibly the most important addition to our group is........ FRENCH! Yes, we've done it! Fuck the Holy Grail - we have found French people that are not disgusted at the prospect of hanging out with English-speaking foreigners! Our 'boss' Pierre is a legend of a man - a brilliant Anglophone by French standards, a natural leader and even more natural drunkard. He has joined our daily soirées and has brought other French guys along too. In my team there is also a guy called Martin, who is really cool and fun to play badminton-I MEAN work with (c'est pareil hein?). My French is also improving greatly from hanging out with these guys and from chatting to the admissibles - I even gave two of them a tour of the school IN FRENCH. Wow, if my dad could see me there!

So, to conclude - this job is a party. We don't work, we're just enjoying ourselves and awaiting a juicy cheque (okay, bank transfer) at the end.

The end. How can two small words create such a large impact whenever they are used. I know it's coming soon. In two weeks I shall move out of Appart City (hopefully with none of my deposit sucked away by my Dementor manager) and couchsurf somewhere for the very last week of the job. The last week of my year abroad. The. Last. Week......

It's nearly over. Wow.

Rant over

Ollie

The entire Admissibles team!
(I'm behind the palm tree to the right pulling a Barney Stinson pose...because I'm that cool...)